Are You Being Used, or Are You The User? Dating Someone For Their Connections

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Kim Kardashian should not expect double dating with Jay and Bey any time soon. With her high profile new beau, Kim K. might be expecting a little too much from dating and “parlaying” with Kanye West, including hoping to get a bit closer to Queen Bey.

According to Hello Beautiful and multiple sources, allegedly:

Kim had visions of her and Beyonce hanging out while Jay and Kanye talked music and business, but it’s not going to happen. Bey’s marriage to Jay-Z was extremely private, and neither of them confirmed it until long after the event. Kim, on the other hand, turned her wedding into a media circus, and the whole thing was filmed for a reality show. Bey thought that it was really tacky and is not a fan of reality TV, either. Bey is used to hanging out with Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow—she’s in a totally different league to Kim.

Multiple sources, like The Urban Daily, have also reported that Kris Jenner allegedly has a STRONG (if not thirsty) interest in having Beyoncé and Jay-Z on the upcoming season of the family’s reality show, “Keeping Up With The Kardashians.”

This comes as no surprise, as celebrity couples date in the eye of the public and some like to flaunt their notable connections to other stars to gain press, views, money and more. In the case of Kim and Kanye, their ever-evolving union is suspect as they were allegedly only “friends” for years just a minute ago. But since the break-up of Kanye and former arm candy, Amber Rose, the model put a spotlight on the two. Kim was accused of being a ‘homewrecker’ by the model, allegedly getting in between their relationship and eventually causing it to fail. So who knows, this could be Kim and Kanye’s way of milking that unexpected controversy to get attention, or, they really could be serious about one another…*Kanye shrug*

But due to her fan base, fame and sometimes the very personal slander against her and her family, Beyoncé is known as a very private celebrity, and her alleged reservations about being associated with Kim seem to be justified by Kim’s very public life. So to say that Kim shouldn’t expect to be Beyoncé’s BFF by dating Kanye is probably right. And if Bey and Jay do decide to double date with these two, let’s just say that that will definitely be a sad day in Hollywood.

Away from the public eye, dating and forming a relationship with someone is less of a spectacle, but questionable intentions are sometimes still there. Whether your new beau happens to be a notable partner at the law firm, player at your job or in your field, or a respected member of your church, have you evaluated your “true” intentions for dating them? Could you be dating someone for their status and the connections they have, or vice versa?

Although it might not be as noticeable, it should still be evaluated the same. Yes, a relationship is a give and take partnership, but make sure the intentions of both parties are pure, not professionally or personally beneficial. Nobody likes feeling or being used.

Are you benefiting from your partner, or is your partner benefiting from you in the wrong ways? Here are three problems with that type of relationship:

1. It leaves room for speculation and criticism

None of us like to be criticized for our relationship status or the reasons behind it, but a relationship based on convenience will always be questioned, whether the intentions are pure or not. And as if your parents or friends needed another reason to be nosey about your relationships.

2. What’s really keeping that person around?

While you would probably like to think that your man is with you because you’re just that amazing, if you’re being used, once what he’s trying to get from you is gone or withheld (money, contacts, sex, etc), you’re going to be left faster than a bad hairdresser who doesn’t understand the definition of a “trim” (the opposite of a big chop). Being used like that and allowing it to happen in the hopes that something real will form can bring on more heartbreak than is necessary.

3. What type of statement are you making about yourself?

And if you are the user in this relationship, how are you representing yourself, taking part in a relationship that doesn’t seem meaningful? It could come across as saying that you are only the type of person who dates for status, money, convenience, etc. I’m not saying that you’re a goldigger, but…you kind of are.

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