4 Things You Should Know About Cheaters and the Women They Date
Are the rich and famous hardwired to cheat?The powerful, hot man who cheated on his wife/girlfriend (everyone from Tiger Woods to Hugh Grant) hits the front pages, and, instead of fans cheering, they’re reeling from his admission of foul play. Justifying their actions, some experts will say, “Powerful men have a higher sex drive,” or “men are just wired that way,” or, “if women don’t want their men to stray, they need to turn up the passion in the bedroom.”
I say, “Please! We all know that men do not own a corner in the hormone market. The secret’s out and the facts are in, so enough with this foolishness and at least come up with something original.”
Instead of acquiescing to what’s politically correct and getting on the boring, poor, sex-depraved male bandwagon, direct your attention over here, to what I’m calling SI: Spiritual Incontinence. Spiritual incontinence is a sudden swift departure from one’s internal compass, brought about by the unconscious wound of separation.
S.I. is a malady that most of us who live in the western world not only suffer from but, ironically, subscribe to. We know what the high road is, and choose to submit to our lower nature – to hell with the consequences.
It’s one thing to be broke and uneducated and thus make poor choices out of ignorance; it’s another to be out of integrity and behave abominably on purpose. You see, I am not a believer that people do the best they can but rather I believe that people just do what they do. (And, in many cases, whatever they can get away with.) So, unless you are a bona fide junkie, addicted to the rush of break-up and make-up, wake up and smell the four truths about cheating:
1. Being famous, powerful, rich, or having a penis, in general, is not a precursor to infidelity or cheating. The difference between being a cheater and having cheated is gaping. If you don’t know the difference, bone up and grow up. There is no longer an excuse for not educating yourself unless you cannot read.
2. Women stay in relationships with cheaters for unexpected reasons. Women who choose to be in relationship with men who are cheaters do so because we are either afraid to be abandoned or alone, are financially dependent, are defined by a man wanting or loving us, or simply do not yet honor and respect ourselves. It is not because we love him and want to stand by our man.
This is immature love and romanticized attachment. And if your man has moved from having cheated to being a cheater, he doesn’t need help. You do – get some, and some self-respect while you’re at it. You will be thrilled you did in the long run!
3. Women can spot a cheater any day. Do you know what one of women’s greatest strengths is? One of their greatest gifts? It’s their intuition. Use it or lose it!
They see the red flags and they just want what they want. Women want handsome, tall, strong, rich, powerful, sexy, hunky, artistic guys who will sweep them off their feet and they’ll live happily ever after. They like the idea of love and not the reality. And I will tell you this: fantasy will get you more into more trouble than anything else.
Slap yourself, pay attention, and do your homework because very few men who turn into cheaters were not already cheaters of some kind. The writing is on the wall, so read it or pay the price. How much is your peace of mind, your soul, worth? I’ll bet Mr. Woods’ wife is asking herself that right now. It’s certianly a heavy price to pay.
4. The victim should sometimes stop and take the blame as well. Want to stay a victim and a blamer, or embrace the path of a skilled relationship warrior goddess? Maybe it’s time to fan your inner flame, turn up the volume of your passionate heart, and say yes to what’s most sacred and no to what is not.
To deny any suitor who has not taken care to bow before the divine, honor women and children, to live by the code inscribed in their deepest core, whose life reflects this on and off the field! How about you … shame on who? Great relationships begin within!
Written by Maryanne Comaroto for YourTango.com.
