Dating can be fun – lots of fun! But in order to get to that I-have-to-see-you-everyday giddy feeling of a fulfilling relationship you have to pass the first date in all of its awkward glory. Do you hold his hand? Is it ok that you Googled him last night? Does your hair look ok? The answer to all of those questions —even number 2! — is big fat — yes.
1. Confide In Him
But only if it’s the natural thing to do. When you’re naturally at ease and can be your genuine self with another person, you’ll have a better time (and so will he). Confiding in him doesn’t mean you have to tell secrets, but if you can get past surface topics and talk about things you have in common — your great family, your alma mater, your favorite sports team — that emotional connection will start right from the first date and you won’t have to force anything.
2. Google and Facebook Him — It’s OK!
In the twenty first century when online dating sites are standard fare, there’s no reason to feel sheepish about Googling and Facebooking your date. After all, had you met online you would already know things about each other’s hometown, your college and what your interests are. Instead of feeling guilty about it, use it to fuel the conversation! Were there pictures of him with his dog? Ask him! But if you’re weird about it or come off stalker-ish, the date will be super awkward.
3. But Don’t Dig Around In The Past
This is more of a what-not-to-do piece of advice, but sharing information about a past relationship is bad news for a first date. Talking about how long you’ve been single is natural, but discussing the ugly details of your last breakup is a recipe for disaster. You’ll come off angry and might even, unknowingly, project your feelings about that last guy onto this new one, and that’s a quick road to no second date. Avoid negative topics in general. It’s perfectly fine to learn from past relationships — that’s what they’re for — but internalize it and use it to make this relationship better than the last.
4. Do As He Does
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but when it comes to a date it will subtly indicate that the two of you are in sync (without the boy band reference — unless you’re on a date with one of them!). We naturally want to be around people who are similar and echoing his movements are a great way to do that. Does he lean into the conversation? You’re welcome to lean a little closer. Is he talking with his hands? Take the cue and do the same! Keep Reading …