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By Elise Solé

Building a menu fort is an obvious sign of relationship strife but what are some other clues you are that miserable couple at table five? 

*You physically turn your body 180 degrees from your guy who smirks behind your back. 

*Your date begs you not to cause a scene (“Please, can’t we just have a pleasant dinner for once?!”)

*Your date schedules another date while he’s still on the date with you. 

* When you fight over the check, you’re actually fighting: 

*You’re so frustrated that you evoke the 1992 dis, “Talk to the hand” (whether it’s because the ears ain’t listening or the face don’t understand): 


*You channel Erica Kane on “All My Children” or Amanda Woodward a la “Melrose Place” and toss a drink in his face: 


*You’re saying, “I totally agree” but inside you’re screaming, “Pirate’s Booty and RHONY reruns!”


*You exchange death stares and whisper, “Please lower your voice. Let’s not do this here.” 

*You just, like, don’t give a crap anymore:

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