Karyn Washington, creator of popular website For Brown Girls, committed suicide earlier this month at the age 22. For Brown Girls is a website known for its efforts to empower by celebrating the beauty of African-American women, particularly those of dark-complexion. Having grown comfortable in her own skin at a young age, Washington was an inspiration to women of all colors and hues as they began to recognize and embrace their own beauty. While all reports indicate that Washington had a strong sense of self, was clearly ambitious, and had a strong social network, she was dealing with a very personal battle familiar to many of us: managing loss and grief.
READ: No More Silence: Death of Founder “For Brown Girls” and #DarkSkinRedLip Project (VIDEO)
In our quest to understand what drives people to commit to suicide, we must first take a look at the struggles that led up to the tragedy. Reports indicate that Washington’s mother had recently passed away after a long painful battle with cancer; the loss became increasingly difficult to manage and grief consumed this young woman. To understand how loss can turn into all-consuming grief, we must first differentiate the two.
Loss vs Grief
Loss is often associated with death. But loss can also include illness, the loss of a job, divorce or positive changes such as a promotion, a move, or marriage. Grief is the emotional process we experience as a result of the loss. There are five stages of grief widely acknowledged by mental health practitioners that were first proposed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying” and they are as follows:
1. Denial and Isolation: Our first instinct is to deny the reality of our loss. We block out the words and hide from the facts as a defense mechanism to buffer our immediate shock. It is a temporary response that helps us get through the first wave of pain.
2. Anger: As denial and isolation become increasingly difficult to maintain, the reality and pain of the situation re-emerges. We begin to express our pain as anger; an emotion that makes us feels less vulnerable. The anger is often directed toward our lost loved one, which in turn makes us feel guilty and thus makes us even angrier with those still around us.
3. Bargaining: This is a vain expression of hope that the bad news we have received is reversible; we begin seeking ways to avoid having to accept the bad thing that has happened in our life.
Understanding The 5 Stages Of Grief was originally published on blackdoctor.org
