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Although we live in a sexualized society where sex sells practically everything we purchase, talking about sex remains one of the most difficult conversations for lovers to have. As a result of religious dogma and societal standards, many individuals entering into romantic unions have certain reservations about communicating about sex, however research shows that couples who openly talk about sex have better relationships and lead healthier lifestyles overall.

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Clinical sexologists and sex therapists recommend that couples learn how to talk about sex in a healthy way to help usher in a sense of comfort when it comes to sexual performance. A common mistake that couples make often when it comes to their sex lives is being silent about things that aren’t comfortable or enjoyable during sex.

Many couples don’t have the knowledge of what language to use when speaking about sex and some members within these unions even have a feeling of embarrassment or shame when it comes to speaking about the act. Sex therapist Kimberly Flemke spoke with the Today Show about the importance communication about sex plays in the health of a relationship.  “Open dialogue is essential ,” says Flemke.

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“When I work with couples, they want to change their sex practice or make it better, I will often say ‘Build on past positive experiences’ because sexuality really represents our most vulnerable part,” she said. “If you can approach it in a positive way, a strength-based approach, like ‘I remember when we did that. I loved it. How about we try this?’ It doesn’t make your partner feel inadequate or rejected.”

How To Get More Of What You Want In The Bedroom  was originally published on blackdoctor.org

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