20 Questions With TLC Singer and VH1 Reality Star, Rozanda ‘Chilli’ Thomas

She’s been romantically involved with pop star Usher and super-producer Dallas Austin, but TLC singer Rozanda “Chilli” Thomas still hasn’t found “the one.” She entrusted relationship expert Tionna Smalls to help her find the perfect man on the VH1 reality show ‘What Chilli Wants,’ but things didn’t pan out as planned.

Now, at 39, the Grammy Award winner is letting VH1 cameras back in on her quest to find her dream guy, and this time she tells BlackVoices.com that she believes that the real thing is in her future.

Here’s 20 Question With Chilli.

BlackVoices.com: You didn’t find love last season on ‘What Chilli Wants.’ Why did you decide to give it another shot?

Chilli: I like that people will get a chance to see a lot more of me. With the first season, everybody was so hung up with [telling me] I don’t need to have a list. It’s shocking to me that people really have this perception of me that is not correct. The list is not going anywhere, but you get to see a lot more depth of who I am as a woman.

BV: What are some of the misconceptions that you think people have about you after the first season?

Chilli: Well, I think even Tionna did, too. She didn’t know me. You have a visual of someone you see as a musician and you don’t know them personally. You can see some of who I am through songs, but when people would hear my list, they were so focused on the outside things that I had on there versus looking at the whole list. Unfortunately, a lot of women are just insecure, and their insecurities force them to settle in relationships. We take on that mentality of letting the man be the man and think it’s okay for a guy to cheat on you. When I was in my twenties, I was a dummy, but you have to get smart and be proud of that and share it. I want all women to demand a guy to do right by you. If not then drop his ass and go to the next one.

BV: Have you let anything on your list go?

Chilli: No, I could add some more stuff on my list (laughs). If you know your self-worth, why wouldn’t you want the same things if not more? If you are a good person and know you’re going to try your best to be great in a relationship, why wouldn’t you want someone like that?

BV: Well, the bigger question is have you been able to find a man who meets most or all of your requirements?

Chilli: On the show, I’ve met some guys who have some of the things on the list. Again, the list is just what I like, and most of the things on there are things that I need. I need to be with a man who loves God. I need to be with a man who speaks my love language. I know the areas to compromise in. If I were to be with a guy and he had a glass of wine every blue moon, that’s not a deal breaker for me. If I met a guy who ate pork bacon at his house every now and then, that wouldn’t be a deal breaker?

BV: At his house? Not in your house? What if he becomes your husband?

Chilli: Oh no. You’re not bringing that hog in my crib. Eventually, I can try to educate him on being healthy and he will stop eating that. That’s not a deal breaker. I feel like we can change that.

BV: How are things going with Tionna this season? Are you getting along better?

Chilli: I can read people well, and I have discernment. I knew what type of personality Tionna has after being around her for five seconds. She talks a lot. She can’t help herself. This time around, I told her, “If you want to be in a position to help people, you have to be a good listener, because you aren’t going to be able to give them sound advice if you aren’t listening.” I’m older than Tionna and have more experience than she has. She’s pretty mature for her age, but at the same time, it’s all about the role that she plays. She did better this time.

BV: Do you think having the cameras around hinders the process of getting to know someone?

Chilli: It’s definitely not a normal thing, that’s for sure. I’m so used to cameras anyway. That didn’t bother me, but there’s a different kind of pressure trying to get to know someone and you have the cameras there.

BV: Do you think there’s a real shot this season for you to find someone?

Chilli: There’s always a real shot. You can go to the grocery store and there’s a possibility that you’ll see Mr. Right in aisle six. You always have to be hopeful if there’s something that you want. This time I was a lot more comfortable going out with the guys because I picked these guys with Tionna. The first go ’round I didn’t pick any of these guys. Every date was a blind date. It’s very difficult to play matchmaker.

BV: Why is Floyd Mayweather still on the show and distracting you from finding a man?

Chilli: Floyd is not a distraction to me finding a guy. That’s Tionna’s perception. Floyd and I have been friends for four years and the reason we are able to be friends is because I know the real man behind the gloves. You all see him as the guy stacking dollar bills on Ustream, but the guy that I know and love and like is the one who will feed the homeless because it’s from his heart. He is really a good dude.We’ve never slept together, and I can honestly say that we are just friends and not friends with benefits.

BV: Do you think you two could be together? That’s not going to happen, huh?

Chilli: Are you asking me or telling me?

BV: Telling you. That’s probably just not a good fit.

Chilli: He’s just a good friend.

BV: Was it tough for you pick men who aren’t black?

Chilli: Girl, no. Growing up, I’ve always dated whomever as long as it was a man. I’ve always dated white guys and Puerto Ricans, Mexicans, Asians. I’ve seen Indian boys. I don’t look at the color. I like beautiful men. I fell off at one part of my life with dating beautiful men, but I’m back.

BV: How do you let a guy know you’re interested?

Chilli: I don’t have to wait for a guy to approach me. I would approach a guy. I would look him up and down like a dude would look at girls. I’m just like that.

BV: You’ve dated Usher and Dallas Austin in the past. Do you think you could date another celebrity or are you against that?

Chilli: I’m not against that at all. I honestly would prefer to date somebody in the same industry as me, not necessarily a singer but someone who understands this life and this world. Sports is a little different. I’m not speaking on the infidelity part, but with football players you don’t know who they are and you may not recognize them. It’s different when it’s someone who is not in this world.

BV: Have you dealt with insecurities from men who aren’t in the industry?

Chilli: I’ve dated industry guys who are extremely insecure and guys who are popular. They see chicks lose their minds because of who they are, so they become accustomed to that. Then they meet me, someone who is in the industry, too, and I don’t trip like that because I’m not a groupie or fan. I’m going to tell you when you’re sh*t stinks and when you aren’t being nice. I”ve noticed guys in the industry say they want a certain type of woman, but they’d rather date a chick who only wants them for their money because she’s not going to call them out on anything. She just wants to go shopping and won’t make him accountable for anything.

BV: How long do you wait before you introduce your son Tron to the guys you’re dating?

Chilli: Tron hasn’t met anybody from the show. You can’t meet my son unless I know there’s something solid here. I know a lot guys who have kids and every girl they date, they bring the girl around their kid, which is so crazy to me. They interact with the chick like, “This is daddy’s girlfriend.” How you make the presentation is everything.

BV: Do you think you will have any more kids?

Chilli: I want and I believe God will give me one more baby. I want a girl — a female mini-me.

BV: What’s going on with your solo album?

Chilli: I was working on a solo album a long time ago and didn’t continue that because I didn’t want to sign a 360 deal, and those are the only deals out right now. I came over to the TV world, but the good thing is T-Boz and I are blessed enough to be able to perform. Our fans still want to see us. I want us to do some new material, but it has to be the right thing. I don’t want to go in the studio with the latest hot producer. But next year will be 20 years that we’ve been a group. We definitely want to do some stuff next year around that.

BV: How’s performing been with the loss of Left Eye?

Chilli: I think the performing part is fine as long as we don’t look up at the screen and see her. Every year around Christmas when they play our ‘Sleigh Ride’ video at the end when the three of us are hugging, I just cry. It’s been years, and it hits me like that. I break down. I miss her. I miss the three of us being together. We have so much chemistry that we don’t even understand. People replace group members all the time, but TLC is not like that. God intended for it to be just the three of us, and we would never replace her. You can’t replace Left Eye.

BV: What do you want TLC’s legacy to be?

C: Our songs really touched many lives. The doors were opened up for us by Salt ‘N’ Pepa and En Vogue, two of my favorite groups, and we were allowed to open up the doors for other groups after us. I think that we really did try our very best, and we succeeded with breaking some barriers. We weren’t going to come out wearing dresses because we didn’t want to. That wasn’t us. We were adamant about being the voices for women. Our version of ‘I’m Every Woman’ was ‘Crazy, Sexy Cool,’ and I always want people to remember those thing. That will be the TLC legacy. I want people to say, “Those girls were something else and really changed up some things for the best.”

The second season of ‘What Chilli Wants’ airs on VH1 Sundays at 9 p.m. EST.