“I’m Sick Of Him Disappearing For The Weekend”

Written by Terrance Dean on March 4, 2011 9:30 am

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Dear Gay Best Friend,

I am a young women in her 20’s who is in a relationship with a guy in his 30’s. We just had a baby and I took care of him while he was in jail. When he got out he took care of me and my son, but every weekend he goes out and stays out and comes in the house drink to the point where we fight and argue. But, Sunday through Thursday we are great. I put him out, but he will not leave. He cries and begs, the whole nine, and I am begging him to fix our problem. He sees no problem and will not talk about it. I am very unhappy. He claims he is not cheating and I am starting to hate him because of the -ish he does on the weekends. What should I do – I’m Over Him

“He Was Too Obsessive, So I Broke It Off But He Won’t Leave Me Alone”

Dear Ms. I’m Over Him,

Sigh! Long, long sigh!

Let’s see. Your man leaves on the weekends, comes home drunk, you fight and argue when he returns, you’re unhappy with him, and he doesn’t see a problem with your relationship, and he will not talk about it. Hmmm, I don’t know. But, I’m going to take a stab in the dark here, not at you, but I should, (where is that blunt butter knife), but, uhm, when he leaves this weekend pack his –ish and put it out. That will eliminate all the drama of him crying and begging. DUH! See how easy that is.

Why do you people stay in relationships and you’re not happy? Someone please, I beg of you, I truly ask if you’ll explain it to me. Chile, I wish I might stay in a relationship with someone who leaves on the weekends and comes home like nothing happened. I’m going to catch a case. And, why do you women keep shacking up with these men who are not your husbands? Why do you insist on playing house, and acting married, but there is no ring on your finger, or no papers, and then you cry and ask why is he not cooperating or acting like we’re a family? Uhm, boo boo, newsflash you’re not a family. You’re just a place for him to lay up, have in-house sex, and a woman who is taking care of him. All of y’all are silly!

Look, Ms. I’m Over Him, first of all, I don’t understand why you supported a man in jail. Honey, his ass got locked up, not you. But, that’s what men who go back and forth to jail do. They expect their girlfriends, and wives to stand by their side while they do their bids. SMDH! Negro, you did the crime, so you will do the time, ALONE! Ladies, ladies, ladies, please stop supporting these men who commit crimes and go to jail. I bet if you let their ass sit up there with no money on their commissary, and don’t accept those expensive ass phone calls (This is the ______________ Correctional Facility with a call from __________ – Click! Don’t even let the recording finish), then I’m sure he will get his –ish together when he comes home. But, then y’all want to throw them coming home parties! What the hell you celebrating? His return to jail? Because that is all he is going to do. You folks are funny. Real funny. Look, Ms. Hood-Chick-Who-Thinks-She-Is-Holding-Down-Her-Man, let him go and celebrate this weekend. Smile, give him a big kiss, and tell him to enjoy himself. When he leaves, you change the locks on the door, pack his clothes, put them on the porch or in front of your apartment door, change your cell number, and move on with your life. If you’re tired, wore down, and fed up, then act, move, get in motion. Go back to school, get an education, let go of this ghetto ass mentality and empower yourself so you’ll know what you are worth, and stop letting yourself be used by men who think nothing of you, nor respect you. And, as I always say, get in a church home. You need some spiritual development and nourishment. Stop sitting home waiting for him to return on Sunday, and be up in somebody’s church getting your praise on. The doors of the church are open, so get your ghetto ass up in there! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

How many of you would tolerate your mate leaving on the weekends, and despite your complaints, they refuse to see a problem or get help?

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Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!

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