It’s a truth of the modern age: Couples can be twice as annoying when they air the dirty, drippy, oh-no-you-didn’t details of their relationship on Facebook. It was time for a new social media rule book, so REDBOOK readers wrote one.
RULE #1: Keep it clean, would ya?
Actual Facebook exchange:
Mindy*: “Missin’ you, Sexy Pants! Can’t wait to rip them off. Hope you’re having a blast! xoxo.”
Mike: “Yes please! Can I get extra meat with those buns?”
We gag, and you are equally skeeved: Sixty-six percent of readers say they’ve been thoroughly repelled by a friend’s sex-life or relationship update — 8 percent have even blocked the person or defriended them. “When I see my friend’s sexy status updates, I can never get those visuals out of my head. Spare us the details, please!” says Karin Slyker, 37. Bottom line, says Stephanie Roberts Stafford, 50: “My mother used to tell me, only people who aren’t getting any talk about it. If you are satisfied, there is no reason to share.”
RULE #2: Enough with the photos!
Not even your mom wants to scroll through hundreds of snooze-inducing travel photos of you, him, and you and him. “Please do not post 500-plus vacation/honeymoon pictures,” says Kimberly Gauthier, 39. “It cracks me up! Does anyone actually look at all these photos?” (If you’re hurting for pic storage, try Flickr or Picasa Web Albums.) Another Facebook offense that readers hate: “Pictures of grown men and women showing extreme displays of affection toward one another give me the creeps,” says Amy Patterson McPherson, 49. “I expect this from teens who don’t know any better, but make-out sessions between adults? Not Facebook material!”
RULE #3: Don’t post when you can just speak.
Facebook can literally make you feel like a fly on the wall of someone else’s home. (This true-life example floored us: Jane: “Good Morning.” Dick: “MAKE THE COFFEE.” Jane: “You’re all caps…you’re yelling at me.” Dick: Please make coffee…whispering…”) Thankfully, only 6 percent of readers have posted some little request like “Hey, could you pick up some milk?” on their guy’s wall. “Why are you posting when they’re right in front of you?” asks Christina Nguyen, 30. “Don’t people talk? If it’s something that can be said over the phone, for goodness sake, log off Facebook and dial the number. Sitting together at dinner and being more preoccupied with the Internet — uh, there’s a problem there!”
*We changed the Facebook account names, but all of the statuses are for real!
Read two more rules for not being the annoying couple on Facebo