Why Science Says It’s Good to Be a Little Needy in Relationships


Being a needy girlfriend has so many negative connotations. And for good reason. No guy wants to be with a woman who requires constant check-in texts and calls, gets upset if he doesn’t compliment her 10 times a day, and is incapable of having a life outside of the relationship. Obviously. But here’s some surprising scientifically-backed news: being a little bit needy—occasionally—may have some major benefits—including improving your sex life

By Zoë Ruderman

Researchers discovered that being able to put oneself in a “place of dependency” (ie, relying on your partner) may boost your sexual desire and lead you to feel happier in your relationship. Basically, the scientists studied 200 people and concluded that the more secure you feel with your boyfriend or husband, the more ramped up your libido. And much of the sense of security comes from feeling like you can lean on the other person when you need to.

Related: 8 Ways To Feel Closer After Sex

Whereas, girlfriends/wives (and boyfriends/husbands) who are insecure “experience more conflict in their sexual desire and are less happy in their relationships”, according to The researchers noted that there were two sub-groups of insecure people: those who were anxious (perhaps nervous about how their partners would respond to being needed) and those who were avoidant. Both groups reported lower satisfaction in bed and in the relationship compared to couples who were OK with being needed and being needy.

Do you agree that neediness can actually be a positive thing in a relationship? Do you feel comfortable being needy with guys?