Mary J. Blige’s Behind The Music is set to air tonight where she opens up about being molested at the age of 5 and her struggle with alcohol and drugs. “When I was 5 years old I was molested and just, you know. I remember feeling, literally right before it happened, I just could not believe that this person was going to do this to me.…That thing followed me all my life. The shame of thinking my molestation was my fault. It led me to believe I wasn’t worth anything.” says Mary.
“The problem had snowballed into this thing that was bigger than me. It was bigger than me. And it was definitely going to kill me. So I was like this is it and let’s go. And I remember sitting on my bed. I swear, I don’t know what death feels like, but I felt like my spirit was trying to leave my body. And I was crying, and I was going please God, no no, not now, I don’t want this. I prayed, like I remember saying a prayer I said God, send me someone to help me.”
The full episode airs tonight on VH1 at 10pm.