For most of us, a milestone birthday is a signature moment to stop and reflect on our lives – family, career, children and friends quickly come to mind. For President Barack Obama, who turns 50 today, that list may be a bit more fleshed out, what with that whole “leader of the free world” thing. Don’t you think?
Well, Mr. President, we have a few thoughts of our own as you turn 50. And while it’s evident that you have everything a black man in America could possibly want, here are 10 birthday gifts we wish we could bestow as you move not only into your 51st year, but the next decade. We hope you like them.
2. Your entire record collection on vinyl, along with a serious turn table and a lifetime supply of needles. I’m talkin’ Earth, Wind & Fire, Nancy Wilson, Richard Pryor, Miles Davis, Isley Brothers, Marvin Gaye, Michael Jackson, Run DMC, Public Enemy and Jay-Z, just to name a few. …..
3. Respect from the American public and the Congress for the many nights you stay awake worrying not only about the economy and jobs, but the many men and women who put themselves in harm’s way in Afghanistan, Iraq and around the world. This gift includes total support from both sides of the aisle.
4. Regular prayers for you and your family. This is important as we watch you move through your days. So often, we give thanks to the many things that affect our daily lives without realizing that the job that you do is very important to us as American citizens. Everyone needs to have you on their prayer list in the morning. When you say, “God Bless the United States of America,” we should immediately ask God to bless you.
5. A copy of your favorite Marvel and DC comic book – in mint condition, of course. As Captain America, Iron Man, the Green Lantern and Spider Man become blockbuster hits, you can’t tell me you’re not craving or wondering what happened to that outstanding comic book collection you once owned. I know I am. Not that you need the money, but can you imagine what the first copy of when Batman appeared in Detective Comics in 1939 goes for these days? Keep in mind, it was 10 cents. It’s valued at $300,000 today. And the first Marvel Comic that appeared in October of 1939 is valued at $250,000. Ouch!
6. A replica of that hat you had on when you took that picture in college. Certainly, you didn’t keep it. Surprised it hasn’t ended up on eBay. But I’m sure we can find it. Somebody from your days in Los Angeles has that hat.
7. A vacation with no cameras. Wouldn’t that be nice? You and your family can get away and leave the press corps behind. No pictures while you play golf and spend time with your family; you could just be you. You don’t even have to tell us where you are going.
8. An angry black populace that demands you’re not referred to as “tar baby” or “boy” – or any other derogatory name, for that matter. At some point, doesn’t the madness have to stop? Black folks didn’t take this when disrespect of African-Americans was an everyday occurrence; so why should we take it now? Something has to be done, and it begins with us. You know the old adage we apply at will: “I may be able to talk about him, but you certainly can’t?” Well, we have to apply that to you, Mr. President, and start defending you better.
9. Gas prices from the ’90s. Anyone over the age of 30 remembers when the price of gas hovered around a dollar during that decade. What’s going on now is just plain on ridiculous. This is the kind of gift that would definitely get you re-elected.
10. Convincing the American public to stop looking at you as a black president and start looking at you as their president, who just happens to be black. It would make the lives of everyone in this country so much easier. Only then will we be what everyone likes to say is “a post-racial” society. Sadly, it really doesn’t exist.
