Never put friends before your husbands
- by The_Stir, on Tue Aug 30, 2011 2:22pm PDT
Remember when mama used to say, “Always put your friends ahead of any man”? Well, forget that advice and listen to this: If you put your husband behind your friends, you will find yourself without a husband.
A recent piece in the Daily Mail advises women to always pick their friends over their spouses. While I agree with the basic premise — friends are so, so important — the idea that a woman would prioritize anyone — yes, even children — above her husband isn’t all that great.
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When a person gets married, they should be marrying their best friend, and when they do, that person becomes like family. So why would you prioritize anyone above him? The writer says:
True friends are those who will always rally round when you are in trouble, or sick, or you need a good laugh or a new dress or even just to download your day. Your friends are there when you need them. Guaranteed. But with your partner, you just never can tell.
Certainly I deeply value my female friendships, but there is no one I value like my spouse. And that is how it should be. To enter into a marriage thinking it could potentially end and one should keep their friends around “just in case” is so cynical, it begs a simple question: Why get married at all?
My husband is everything to me, and I have his back and he has mine. When I have falling-outs with friends, he is there to tell me how much they suck. When I want to be sad about family drama, he is holding my hand. When I have a bad day at work, it’s my husband I call. But when I want to see some chick flick he hates, I go with my sister or a friend. When I want to shop or just be away from the family, I have plenty of girlfriends, but for the important stuff, my man remains the number one.
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And I think that is the right way to be. Children thrive on seeing happy parents. The relationship between the parents is the base of a healthy family. It’s the most important part of many people’s lives. How does friendship really compare to that?
Do you value your husband or friends more?