We all know the stereotype — men want sex and they want it now. And now. And now. Except when they … well, don’t. And when that happens, it’s confusing. And frustrating. And even hurtful. We ask ourselves: Why won’t my husband have sex with me? What’s going on with him?
Okay, ladies, it’s important to remember that just because the stereotype is that all men want to have sex all of the time doesn’t mean it’s true. Just like all blonde women aren’t stupid, not all men are sexually motivated creatures. And for your man, having a low libido may be the cause of shame, confusion, and embarrassment.
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Here are the top reasons men do not want to have sex:
Medication. While we’ve made great advancements in medications, many of the drugs men take to lower their blood pressure or relieve their depression have unexpected side effects. Specifically a lower sex drive. If this may be the culprit, encourage your man to speak to his doctor about it.
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Stress and anxiety. Men often cite that they’re concerned about their performance in the bedroom. Try reassuring your partner that you’re going to feel fulfilled — no matter what — and that you both simply need to keep your expectations in check.
Exhaustion. It’s cliche, I know, but fatigue is a common reason that men may cite as dampening their sexual desire. It’s hard to want to get down and dirty when all you can think about is glorious sleep. So allow your partner some sleep or try and engage in sexual activities during other times of the day.
Anger. Anger at one’s spouse — especially in long-term relationships, where problems may be unresolved — can be another cause for a decreased sexual appetite. Expressing that anger through therapy or long honest talks, or try and bring that aggression into the bedroom.
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The more we talk about loss of libido in men, the less of a secret it will be and the more people will open up and share their experiences.
Do you ever feel sexually rejected? How do you deal?
