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Relationships are taxing, but when you want to make the most of it, you give your all–mind, body and soul (heart). These three pieces comprise your whole and you offer them to your man lovingly. So when that love ends, it can leave those pieces of you lost and drowning in pain and sorrow. There are endless articles online focused on checking in and out of Heartbreak Hotel, but these next few tips focus on reclaiming your body and its strength, shedding vile and useless thoughts from your mind and restoring your heart with peace and love.

“This, to, Shall Pass.”

Take a page from an Oprah’s Book Club favorite, A New Earth, in which the author tells an ancient Sufi story of a king in distress from the never ending peaks of elation and depths of sorrow. On and on like a roller coaster, his life seemed to go.

The king summoned the help of a wise man, and was promptly told there weren’t enough riches in the world to pay for the kind of help he needed. So instead, the wise man offered his services as a gift, with the condition that the king swore to honor the solution. He put the treasure in an ornate jade box. Inside was a ring with the inscription, “This, too, will pass.” A reminder to the king that no matter how crappy things get–it is only ever a temporary state of being.

Think like the Queen that you are, and know that no rain lasts forever. When the pain of the breakup bubbles up in your bosom and tears are inevitable, you have license to close your eyes and recite the words, “this, to, shall pass.”

They give your mind free space, so that you can fill it with the knowledge necessary to move your heart forward, along your true path.

“I, Am”

Whereas “this, to, shall pass,” frees your soul from the nuances of time and space, allowing you to float above and beyond your past, the mantra, “I, am” is an anchor to the core of your being. You need your feet planted firmly on the ground before you may take a step forward.

And here, the ego has its place. When you’re all alone, in the dark, where no one can see you, the ego is all there is. In fact, it’s all you need to tell you that you are in fact, “the shit.” Go ahead, throw any positive adjective on the tail end of “I am”–there are plenty of fun ones. I am fierce, I am awesome, I am hands down, the baddest mofo around!

Take a Good Look

Allow your ego to lift you up and kick start your spirits, but beware of delusion. No one is perfect. Resist the urge to demonize the actions of a cheating or seemingly heartless ex and use that energy to look within. Placing blame outwards hides the fact that you were responsible for 50% of everything that happened, and you risk making the same mistakes next time around, i.e. if that guy was an asshole, there’s something wrong with you for hooking up with him in the first place.

Who are you in a relationship? What was your role in what happened and how could you (not him) have done something different to have a different outcome? You’re only responsible for half of the outcome, but it’s the most important half–yours. You are always 100% responsible for your actions.

Take a good look at yourself. Use a mirror if you need to. But don’t focus on the image you see. Focus on the image you want to be. Your struggle and pain is an opportunity to grow and flourish as you move closer toward the arms of your true love.

Take a Fun Class

After a relationship’s over, it’s easy for your body to become wrought with the anxiety of loneliness and feelings of rejection and stress. You simultaneously need to shake off toxicity and revitalize your vibrancy. Physical activity can be a catalyst for this process.

Reignite the fibers of your being, through a new use of your body. Anything fun will do, and chances are, you’ve been putting something off for a time now. Take a salsa class, try hot yoga, or a strip pole dancing–just remember to have fun.

Not only will you free your body of a stressful breakup and fill it with healthy joy, you also benefit from much needed social distraction.

Read More Post Breakup Tips to Reclaim Your Mind On: MadameNoire