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The Magic Formula for Creating a Better Love Life

By Romance Recovery’s Johanna Lyman for

It just takes a little ‘magic’ to find your true love…

People want a magic pill to make their lives better. Everyone, even experts, seem to get sucked into looking for the next big thing, the missing piece of the puzzle, to jump start their business or finally make their love life better.

I’ve listened to and watched more than my fair share of experts with “the” answer to all my problems. I’ve learned from dozens of talented individuals. And I’ve never heard anything I didn’t already know.

I realize that may sound like a bold statement. You might think I’m pretty egotistical to think that. But I’ll bet most, if not all of you, have had the same experience– particularly when it comes to growing your business. I’m sure you’ve listened to an expert with a “revolutionary formula” and been told something you already knew. The truth is, there are shockingly few ideas that are truly new or revolutionary. Most of the time, it’s a slightly different spin on an old stand-by. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, either.

Related: The #1 Step to Finding Mr.Right

There really is a secret to making it all work. I’m kidding, there’s nothing secret about it. The only trouble is, people rarely manage to do it. And that’s why they keep going back to experts, looking for another way. The secret is this: take action. Shocking, I know. But people all over the world consistently expect their lives to improve magically, that is, without a change of behavior on their part.

Part of the problem with magical thinking is movies like The Secret and What the Bleep gloss over the part of the success equation that includes taking action. People like the idea of the Law of Attraction because they mistakenly believe they can think their way into a smaller dress size, a better job, or a happier marriage. But thinking about it is just the first step.

Here’s the “Magic Formula” for living a life of JOY and having a better love life:

1. Think about what you really want in your love life. Whether you’re in a relationship or want to find one, think about some of the qualities of your ideal romantic relationship.

2. Close your eyes and imagine you already have it. What would you be able to have? How would you act? What kind of things would you say? And most important: how would you feel? Let yourself be filled with the feelings.

Related: The Secret to Staying Married

3. Now for the magic part. Every day, first thing in the morning, go to that feeling place. Fill yourself up with the feelings you expect to experience once you have that think you really want, and sit in the feeling for about 30 seconds. While you’re still at the peak of the feelings, DO SOMETHING. Do something, anything, that will move you in the direction of having a better relationship.

Do something that someone who already has what is it you want would do. If you want your partner to be more expressive, you could start modeling behavior you desire. If you want a partner who showers you with positive attention, begin by showering yourself with positive attention. Whether the daily action is ordinary or inspired, this is the magic in the formula. I know, it’s really more on the mundane side, but it’s magically powerful.

If you really want to change your life, the secret is to take consistent, daily action toward your goals. Yes, there are a lot of other tools and tricks you can use to help propel you toward your goal, but there is none more powerful than taking consistent, daily action. It’s not sexy, and it may seem overly simple. Stay tuned, and I’ll share some of the other tools and tricks. But if you don’t do this one thing, the rest of them won’t help much.

Original Story

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