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LISTEN LIVE. LIKE US ON FACEBOOK. FOLLOW US ON TWITTER AND INSTAGRAM. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE. – Cissy Houston says: “I won’t want to remember that, but I can’t seem to forget it.”

No matter the age…losing a child is worst thing any parent could go through.

For Cissy Houston- the pain is still…….all too raw

“I just miss her.”

For the first time since her daughter’s death, Cissy Houston is speaking out.

She sat down with me, in the same place…where just a few week’s earlier, the world mourned her child.

Newark’s New Hope Baptist Church.

“I’m very proud of my daughter. She accomplished a whole lot in the short time that she had here.

She was a very wonderful person.”

Cissy Houston….has been a faithful member of New Hope since 1953. She raised Whitney here. At this church… Whitney sang as an 11 year old child. For Cissy, it’s a special place.

And it is here…where Cissy still sings today. Music so important to her. To her entire family. Including her niece Dionne Warwick. The entire family will reunite in May for the first time since Whitney’s death. They will perform a special tribute to Whitney at this year’s McDonalds Gospelfest at the Prudential Center in Newark.

Cissy was able to come back to New Hope 4 weeks after her daughter’s funeral. She says it helps.

“I just a true believer in God and I know he works by his own. And nothin’ I can do about it.. Ain’t nothin’ nobody can do about it. If I thought I could do something to bring her back that’s exactly what I’d do about .. But I know that’s impossible” .

As Cissy watched her daughter grow up….become a star, she knew with that stardom….there may be trouble. And addictions. But for Cissy… a mom….no regrets

“I know I did the best I could, I don’t blame myself, I know I did the best I could for everything.”

Brenda asks: “Mom to mom….anything you could have done differently?”

Cissy responds: “No really, my children are my whole life. She was very special to me; she was my only daughter, and a good one. Looked out for her family.”

Cissy Houston won’t talk about the night Whitney died. Or the way she found out. But she says that the way things were portrayed days following her daughter’s death….simply unfair.

“The media is awful.

“They think they know everything.

“God has way of taking all of it, and I’m glad I know that”

Cissy told me she’s not an angry person. But admits that the things being said in the tabloids and on TV…did stir an emotion in her.

“These people don’t know anything about her.

“All they know is what they hear, bad things, she’s had her ups and downs. Who hasn’t?”

Cissy says she tried not to watch TV following Whitney’s death. But sometimes she couldn’t escape it.

“They really chopped on her…one time thought about coming on there….but I know my temper.

“Let them think and know what they want to say, I just hope they never come and say it to me.”

Brenda asks: “Cause then you could be angry?” Cissy laughs and says: “Yes, and then you’ll have news then.”

As for Whitney’s life…her troubled marriage to Bobby Brown…..the addictions, and her apparent relapse…and her death….Cissy isn’t looking to point fingers.

“I don’t blame anyone.”

Cissy Houston is a private person. Spiritual. When I asked her about the recent headlines….Bobby and Whitney remarrying. Her granddaughter Bobbi Christina…linked to Nick Gordon….who many say is like a brother to Bobby Christina…. And the now infamous photo inside the funeral home. To all of it- Cissy scoffed.

“I don’t look at that mess.”

And then there were the rumors….that Whitney died broke.

“She’s not broke. She’s not anything. None of that crap.”

It was a rare glimpse of anger for a woman, very much under control

Cissy and I walked around New Hope. We looked at places where Whitney sang. Where Whitney played. Where Whitney grew up.

It brought back a lot of memories.

And it stirred a lot of emotions.

Brenda asks: “How are you doing?”

Cissy responds: “I’m ok. I have my moments, I’m not there yet.

“I don’t think I’m any more courageous than anyone else,

“I haven’t gotten angry yet, I don’t like getting angry.

“I’m doing good.”

Brenda asks: “Do you still hear her talking to you? “

Cissy says: “Yeah I do.”

And while Whitney’s funeral is a day she would like to forget…she said it was also a day that lifted her up.

“Everyone has been so wonderful. I want to thank all the people who sent cards, checks, from all over the world. It’s really been wonderful. I thank them with all my heart.

“It was wonderful. All those people. White, black. Made me feel very good.”

Cissy is back in church. Back singing. And ready to share her own beautiful voice with the world again.

And Cissy is ready to debut her newest song: “Walk On By Faith”, she shared some of the words….that seemed so appropriate to what she has been through

“You can’t see in the future, you can’t see through dark clouds.. You can’t see all the pitfalls so walk on by faith each day.”

And that’s what Cissy Houston does. Her faith keeps her going. No regrets from a mom whose daughter had so much. And left us too early.

“She was so beautiful. She had it all.”  For The Rest Of This Story

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