Is He Cheating? the Major Warning Sign
By Smitten, Glamour Magazine | Love + Sex – 7 hours ago
Gena Kaufman, Glamour magazine
If you’ve ever been suspicious that your guy is cheating, you know how miserable it is to obsessively wonder just what’s going on. Here’s an expert tip on how to spot the bad news.
Via an episode of Anderson this week, Amy Drescher, a woman with an intimate knowledge of cheating-she’s a private investigator-shared a really interesting tip for detecting when your guy might be cheating on you.
The clue is this: If you’re already feeling suspicious of your guy, and you confront him about strange behavior like changed passwords or late nights, a cheater will likely respond by telling you repeatedly that you’re crazy. Drescher says she commonly hears this from her female clients when she’s investigating their husbands, but the women aren’t crazy.
Oh, the old “you’re crazy” defense. We’ve discussed whether or not it’s the worst thing you can be called, and in this case, I think it’s a fairly common and completely awful reaction of a guy who is in fact cheating. Think about it, if your loving and loyal boyfriend found out you thought he was cheating on you, would he be mad? Yes, probably. But even so, would he want to make you feel bad about yourself, or would he want to figure out why you thought that so he could reassure you that he’s being completely faithful to you? If a guy just keeps insisting over and over that you are crazy even though you have a reasonable basis to at least feel a little suspicious, chances are he’s trying to make you doubt yourself instead of him. And there’s probably a reason he wants you questioning yourself instead of looking further his actions.
If I sound a little bitter about this, why yes, I have had the “You’re crazy” defense employed on me when I tried to have an adult conversation about some concerns I had in a relationship. Being told I was crazy when I knew I wasn’t made me act crazy, check his cell phone, and confirm that I was not in fact crazy but 100% right. Ugh, cheaters. It’s bad enough you’re doing such a terrible thing. There’s no need to also try to make us feel like we’re losing our minds.
I hope you’ve never experienced cheating, but if you have, did he employ the “you’re crazy” method of response? What other warning signs did you see? Original Story