8 Essential Tips for Initiating a Break-Up
By Cosmopolitan.com
Give him a smooth kick to the curb.Are we the only ones who are still awed by the stealth way Katie dumped Tom? Sure TomKat’s situation was a little different (um, the army of divorce lawyers probably hurried things along), but it proves that there is a way to cut a guy loose so that the breakup really sticks and things don’t get ugly. Next time you have to do the deed, follow these tactics:
By Malia Griggs
Do it at The End of The Workday
Mornings are too rushed, and you risk having a really crappy day ahead of you. Wait until it’s late at night, and you might lose your resolve. Splitting in the evening gives you time to have the longer conversation you might need. “Plus, you’ll still have several hours to call your friends if you need to rehash and destress,” says Marni Battista, CEO and founder of DatingWithDignity.com.
Do it in Person
Don’t wuss out and send an it’s-over text; unless you’ve only been out casually a few times (in that case, a Facebook message or phone call will suffice), you owe your soon-to-be ex some face time.
Meet Him in a Semi-Public Place
A park or a shopping plaza offers enough privacy to talk but you won’t feel confined and trapped-as you might at a restaurant or bar. “Going on a walk is good, because that’s when men and women communicate best,” says Battista. “You don’t have to look at each other, but you’re side by side.”
Start off With Something Positive
For example, “We have a great time together. I love your sense of humor, and you’ve always treated me well…but we’re not a good match.”
Focus Your Reasoning on You-Not Him
“I’m at a point in my life where I need someone who is more ready to settle down,” or “I’m just more focused these days on my career, and relationships aren’t a priority” work because they aren’t about his flaws and it spares his ego. You’re dumping him…but you don’t want to hurt him anymore than you have to.
Hear Him Out
But if you start feeling like he’s just rambling in circles and you’ve made your point, say firmly, “We could go over this forever, but it’s just not going to work out.” Yeah, sounds harsh, but you need to communicate that there’s no leeway here and your mind is made up.
Steer Clear of Him For a Month
No phone calls, FB messages, texts, nada. It’s easier to accept the breakup if you aren’t checking in on each other. If he asks to still be friends with you, don’t lie and say that’s possible. Tell him, “I hope one day we can be friends, but right now we need to have some time apart.”
Unfriend Him
Unfriending sends a clear message that you’re done, says Battista. Plus, why torture him with photos of your life-or risk being upset seeing him with another girl on your minifeed? Original Story
