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Is it a Good Idea to Date Multiple People at the Same Time?

A Different Meaning to the Term Double Dating

Posted by Olga Melman for

Are we cheating when we date more than one person at a time? I think it depends on the rules and how long you have been dating. If no rules have been established, it might be fair game to date other people – and even hook up. This philosophy might get some of you guys and girls into trouble. However, if you want exclusivity, you might ask your partner to earn it.

Dating multiple people boils down to your ethics and your beliefs of what is right and wrong. Some people don’t feel comfortable dating more than one person at a time. It’s easy to get mixed up when dating multiple people. Keeping track of what to say and when to go out can cause aggravation and stress. If one of your dates finds out about the other, you might be in for quite a mess.

When dealing with other people’s emotions, things get complicated and intricate. If your rules allow for it, then I say go for it and clarify that within your relationship. On the other hand, if you are exclusive with one person for many years and there is no established flexibility there, I don’t think it’s advisable. Just for the sake of the other person and his or her feelings, I would think that dating others would be called ‘cheating.’

I am all for making the other person working for exclusivity. He or she should deserve it. In other words, if you are having doubts about your partner and there are no rules established, it might be fine to have an occasional date here and there with someone else. An open relationship calls for clear rules. It should be understood that you are allowed to see and hook up with other people given that is what you both want and have agreed to. If this understanding is missing or unclear, you might be cheating.

The question remains how to keep dating fun and vague without developing a guilty conscience. Some girls feel like a “ho” if they date more than one guy, even if the relationship allows for it. Is it wrong to look at another guy when in a long-term relationship? Some girls don’t even look because they are only thinking of their man and they are so into that person. Other girls find it perfectly fine to date and explore the field.

It really depends on the type of relationship and type of person. Some girls are much more carefree, liberated and sexually mature. I find it liberating to date other people, however occasionally I feel guilty if I am with someone I really care for. It’s difficult to separate yourself from a meaningful relationship and just have a fling without developing a conscience.

Long distance relationships also put a strain on commitment. It’s easier to remain devoted when in the same city as your partner. It helps to see that person on a daily basis or as often as one wishes. Distance adds other obstacles into the equation.

Furthermore, dating multiple people speeds up the process of meeting the right person. You are able to compare and contrast. You also are boosting your self-confidence and honing your first-date skills in the process. If we are talking about first-dates it might be a good idea to date different people. Planning more than one date at a time can be beneficial, enriching and even fun! It might relieve the pressure of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right on the first try. When you do find the person who is better than all the others, you can commit.

So if you are looking to build your experience and determine who the right person is for you, then dating multiple people can be okay. Just be careful with other people’s emotions and keep clear lines of communication open. I would let my partner know that I am dating other people to see who is right for me. I would also ask them how they felt about it. The last thing you would want is to hurt the person you care most about. So tread carefully and be honest. Have fun, be safe and love will find its way into your heart.

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