When you first met, you didn’t care that he couldn’t complete a crossword puzzle. Since you rarely spent time reading the newspaper together, it just didn’t seem important. Now that the “new” has worn off the relationship, you’ve spotted a glaring truth, or at least a possible truth. You’re smarter than him! How can you know that you’re smarter than your boyfriend and does it matter?
New situations expose weaknesses. Sometimes those situations are intellectual ones. According to an advice column on the Columbia University website, many a gal has come to realize that her intellectual prowess far exceeds her mate’s. A grad student writes, “I know this might sound a little vain, but I am smarter than my boyfriend and it’s starting to get to me! We have been dating for about eight months, and our relationship was great when we lived together in our hometown.” He didn’t shine in his new environment, and she was there to witness that failure.
There’s more than one measure of intelligence. Across “The Pond,” students in the UK discussed this subject on the Student Room site. Some women said, “I’m far smarter than he is, but I don’t care.” Others pointed out that measuring intelligence doesn’t boil down to just the standard IQ test. Couples often say that while one excels at problem solving, their mate excels in other areas like essay writing or math. Don’t forget there’s book smarts and street smarts. You need both!
Friends and family like pointing out differences. He’s a gifted builder; she’s the head of her firm. Her family wonders why she’s with him? They mention it to her at a family event when he’s absent. Appealing to her intelligence, this friend or loved one expresses surprise at her mate choice. (Little does she know that Cousin Gwen would love to date him herself!) If the differences in intelligence, skills, or personalities are only important to others, ignore it. It’s your relationship.