5 WAYS TO PROTECT YOUR NEW RELATIONSHIP
By Anne Stirling Hastings.
ONE: WATCH FOR DANGEROUS EMOTIONS!
First, make a list of those dangerous emotions. Here are some:
• Anger
• Betrayal
• Hurt
• Jealousy
• Humiliation
• Possessiveness
• Fear…
TWO: TELL EACH OTHER ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONS
Next, give each other examples of what sets off your emotions. You will be angry when he is late without calling, or she ignores you at parties, or he makes plans without consulting you. You will feel hurt when she makes plans without consulting you, he wants time alone, or she wants a “girl’s night out.” You find it humiliating when he doesn’t want sex, or she tells you to wear something else, or he suggests you skip desert. Once you know likely triggers, you both have more information about how to prevent irrational emotions, and be able to understand your partner’s.
THREE: KEEP TALKING
Remind each other that emotions become intensified when you are in love. Name those fears. Be caringly angry. Express jealousy. Remember that if your emotions are stronger than with a friend, it means you love each other! When you understand this, your feelings will seem less disturbing.
FOUR: BE FAITHFUL
Reassure your new mate that she or he is the only one. Infidelity causes lack of trust. I have read theories about how women are, by nature, monogamous and men aren’t. Yet when talking with clients, men are as devastated as women when their partner flirts or strays.
FIVE: ACCEPT THE IRRATIONAL EMOTIONS, TOO
Be sure to tell each other when you have emotions toward the other, even if you know they aren’t rational. When he talks for an hour with an ex who you know he hates, and you feel jealous, tell him! You can say, “I know you aren’t interested in her, but I am jealous anyway. I’m sorry for feeling that way and seeming to not trust you, but this is the emotion I am having.”
REMEMBER, EVERYONE WILL OVERREACT WHEN IN LOVE
