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7 Tips to Protect You From Being an April Fool Dater

By Dr. Karen Sherman

dinner couple

When you pay attention, there are “signs” to let you know if this guy is really “Mr. Right.”

1. How does he treat his mother?  And how does he speak about her?  The relationship a guy has with his mother will tell you a great deal about how he’ll relate to you so pay attention.

2. What is the manner in which he relates to wait staff?  Though this seems like a small insignificant piece, it’s really about respect.  If he’s the kind of person who talks down to wait staff, eventually, it will be your turn.

3. Does he call when he says he will and show up at the time he’s supposed to?  It’s important to be consistent.  Trust is a foundational factor in a good relationship.  Consistency is certainly a way of showing one’s trustworthiness.

4. Does he ask for your input about your activities?  Though initially it may seem romantic for your guy to set up the date and merely tell you what time to be ready and what to wear, it’s likely that this person needs to be in control … all the time.  You want to make sure you’re an equal partner.

5. Does he talk a lot?  At first you may think you hit the jackpot and found the one male who’s willing to talk.  That’s great!  What is he talking about … is it himself?  And … is he also willing to listen to what you have to say?  You want to be in a relationship where you have a mate where you and what you say matters.

6. Is he open to trying a new restaurant?  If he’s the kind of person who sticks with the “same-old, same-old” all the time whether it’s the type of cuisine he’s eating or the activities he does, there’s a real good chance your relationship will get boring.  Many relationships end when there’s not enough novelty.

7. Does he minimize your point of view when you have a conflict?  Research has shown that how couples manage conflicts is a strong predictor of how successful their relationship will be.  There are many skills to good conflict management and minimizing your partner’s point of view isn’t one of them!

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