1. Never stay silent when a friend is falling for an asshole.
2. Never favorite a best friend’s bon mot. Always retweet it.
3. Never trust a girlfriend who dates a married man.
4. Never refuse to write a recommendation for the offspring of a friend (no matter how big an idiot the kid is).
5. Never steal your friend’s thunder at a dinner party-when she’s on, give her room! Pound the table! Bang your glass with a spoon! Laugh the loudest at her story!
6. Never give your friend’s business four stars on Yelp. Always give five.
7. Never agree when a friend says she’s flabby, baggy, saggy, lumpy, floppy, veiny, squishy, scrawny, etc., etc. Tell her to shut up. Tell her life is too short. Tell her to eat, drink, and be merry. And finally…
8. Never treat other women disrespectfully: It gives men ideas.