You know your way of thinking varies drastically from your guy’s. Still, reality and what you think you know about your husband’s thoughts are often different. Here, experts share what isn’t likely to cross your man’s mind and what he’s more likely thinking instead.Photo by Thinkstock
1. Copying your way of doing things.
So he never folds towels “your way” or arranges utensils in the drawer how you prefer them? That’s because he’s not taking mental notes on how you approach tasks; he prefers to do things however he deems most efficient. “We want people to mirror us, especially if we have a more controlling personality,” says marriage therapist Carin Goldstein, creator of BeTheSmartWife.com. “But different doesn’t necessarily make it wrong,” Goldstein says. Consider relinquishing some power. “When you accept your differences, you’ll have an easier time finding common ground.”
2. What you need if you don’t tell him.
If you’d like a 40th birthday party, but haven’t mentioned that to your man, don’t assume he’s planning a secret bash. “Women always think, ‘If he loved me, then he’d do it,’ and that’s not true,” says Goldstein. He can’t read your mind, so if milestone birthdays are non-events in his book, he may not realize they’re important to you. Part of the solution is continuing to have one-on-one time, so you can keep in touch with each other’s needs. The other part is speaking up. “If you want something, it’s up to you to make sure it happens,” says Goldstein.