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1. Get a Wake-Up Call

You’ve been on bad date after bad date. Instead of sulking around and complaining that “no one good is out there,” take time to reevaluate what’s been going wrong. “A bad date can be a wake-up call for you to take responsibility and realize why that connection isn’t happening,” Packard said. Look at your dating pattern and actually write down what you feel isn’t working. Maybe it’s time to try something new: stray from the guy that is your usual ‘type’. Are your expectations unrealistic? Let it be about you building a connection, rather than checking off a list.

Lesson Learned: Change your pattern

2. Learn to Empathize

“When a date is going downhill, it’s usually because the guy is struggling,” Chrisler says. Men are nervous too, maybe even more than you. While it may not be easy to cut him some slack when he’s stumbling through a conversation, Chrisler says it’ll make the date more fulfilling for the both of you in the end. “You don’t have to marry him, but you can be nice to him and end the date on a great note.” Remember, he’s going through the same thing as you. Try to not put the responsibility of making the date a ‘success’ on his shoulders, a common habit of women, Chrisler said. Being open and empathetic will translate towards your future relationships as well. “Treat each date not really as good or bad dates, but as stepping stones towards what you want,” Packard said. Dating is a two person game!

Lesson Learned: Don’t forget to think about how he’s feeling.

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