1. Accept an introvert for who he or she is.
“The most important tip for dating an introvert is to accept that this is the personality of the person you are dating,” says Stephanie D. McKenzie, MBA, CPC, CRC, a certified life and relationship coach as well as director at The Relationship Firm. “Many times people like someone who is introverted, except for the fact that they are introverted. This is counterproductive. Accepting this person or exactly who they are and how they are is the key to everything working. They will not be the life of the party, a social butterfly, or an amazing group conversationalist. However, they might be extremely polite, quietly amused in social situations, and very intuitive in your post-social, private time.” In other words, see your introvert for who he or she is, and value the good.
2. Understand that unexpected situations can be unwelcome or scary.
“Audience participation is my worst nightmare,” says Grace V., a social media strategist in Madison, Wisconsin. “It is better to be prepared or warned about things like that beforehand. I like going out and about but I need time to recharge between activities-especially social ones. Small talk can be exhausting and I’d rather have more meaningful, comfortable conversations with close friends.” Don’t force your introvert into a whirlwind weekend of one social obligation after another. You’ll wear her out!
3. If your introvert needs to be left alone, trust and respect that.
“They just need to recharge and will come around when no longer socially exhausted,” says Alisha Kirchoff, a university administrator in Campaign-Urbana, Illinois. “Don’t take it personally.” The Rev. Christopher L. Smith, a marriage and family therapist and Clinical Director and President, at Seeking Shalom, in New York, NY agrees. “Understand that being an introvert is about where your loved one draws their energy and strength. They can be a real people person and still need time to themselves to recharge and process. This is not a contradiction. Don’t minimize ‘me time’ appointments.”
