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It’s speedy, flirty, and convenient, but fire off too many text messages during a tiff and your relationship will suffer, according to new research conducted by Brigham Young University.

The study included 276 adults, all in relationships (38 percent were seriously dating someone, 46 percent were engaged, and 16 percent were married). And while 82 percent of both men and women traded multiple texts a day with their partners as a form of relationship maintenance (“How is your day?” “Miss you!”), when couples texted frequently about serious issues, gender differences came into play. “We found that when couples use texting to express affection or connect, both sexes experienced higher relationship satisfaction,” lead study author Lori Schade, PhD., tells Yahoo Shine. “However, during an argument, women who text more might do so as a means to resolve issues or apologize; men might text more because they’re unsatisfied with the relationship and texting is how they avoid emotional intimacy.”

As a result, men who send and receive too many messages experience lower relationship satisfaction. And women who fire off too-frequent missives in an attempt to apologize, make relationship decisions, or pacify the situation, are unhappy as well.

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