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By now we’ve all seen the video supposedly of Solange Knowles pummeling Jay-Z in an elevator of a New York City Hotel.

And from the looks of it Beyonce may have woke up like this but Solange woke up mad, and ready to fight


The video is a spectacle.

And I have to admit that I’ve watched it over and over and over again.

Each time is like the first time.

I flinch when she corners him.

I cringe every time she tries to kick him.

I know he’s a grown man who is bigger than her but I feel sorry for him standing there wondering what to do like a trapped animal; his wife seemingly barely lifting a hand to defend him.

I also wonder what our collective reactions would have been had it been Jay-Z punching, kicking and yelling at Solange or any other woman for that matter.

I would venture a guess that he would have been arrested and taken to jail almost immediately or shortly after the video surfaced.

Without question there is a double standard when it comes to domestic violence committed against men.

Here’s food for thought.

A survey taken by the CDC in 2010 found that 40% of the victims of severe, physical domestic violence are men.

And the study shows that “despite many findings that show almost equal amounts of abuse perpetrated against men and women, the media and government focus the most attention on the female victims of domestic violence.”


Men feel they should be stronger and don’t want to be embarrassed by a physically smaller woman getting the best of them.

They don’t want to be ridiculed when the police show up.

And someone like Jay-Z just doesn’t want the attention.

Because if not for the videotape in that elevator, who would believe that tiny Solange could actually hurt big Jay-Z?

And as we see in that video the truth is that women more often use objects like purses and shoes against men; many times those objects are deadly weapons.

According to one study, “63 percent of males as opposed to 15 percent of women had a deadly weapon used against them in a fight with an intimate partner.”

So for all of you who are rationalizing Solange’s behavior by saying she was either defending herself or her sister against some egregious act by Jay-Z, think about this first.

That could indeed be true but for whatever reasons there isn’t much research on domestic abuse against men by official government agencies.

And because of that the study states that people are able to perpetuate myths like women are only violent when defending themselves, or that men could more easily leave a violent relationship.

It’s simply not true.

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DON LEMON: Female On Male Violence  was originally published on

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