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“Worry that we’ll stop having sex.”

This is men’s top fear–of the 10 we spoke to, every one spilled it first. And while the occasional dry spell doesn’t spell disaster, the best way to continue to maintain an awesome sex life is to, well, have sex. Although it may sound unromantic to make “sex dates,” experts agree that they can help you past the we-don’t-have-time hump that often comes with busy careers, stress, and kids. Finally, know that when you’re not feeling it, sex may be just what you need to create a spark. “Of course sex is about expressing your love for each other, but it can also be a way to work through tension and get rid of stress,” says sexologist and The New Monogamy author Tammy Nelson, Ph.D.

“Am I doing enough in my marriage?”

Men are surprisingly worried that they’re not pulling their weight in their relationships and that consequently, you’ll get sick of them. Luckily, the best way to quell this fear is as simple as regularly checking in with each other, says Marcia Naomi Berger, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist and author of Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love. “Knowing there’s a time to talk about the little stressors that crop up can help you handle most situations before they spiral into larger issues.”

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