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Here are 8 signs of unhealthy arguments that I wish I’d known when our love story started:

  1. The Need To Win Fuels The Argument. When one of us needs to win, the other becomes defensive. It’s a fight to the finish. One victor stands while the relationship loses. Our “we” becomes lost in “me.”
  2. We Lose The Ability To Take Turns. When the back and forth flow of opinion and discussion stops, adversaries emerge. One of us can feel like a witness being badgered by the prosecuting attorney. A previously healthy argument becomes an unhealthy power play.
  3. We Lose The Ability To Truly Listen To Each Other. When we tune each other out, we get lost in our own personal agendas. We listen only for a pause to speak our part and we ignore what the other is saying. Understanding flies out the window.
  4. We Jump In And Cut The Other Off. When we start interrupting each other, we demonstrate our lack of respect. Blatant disrespect eliminates the possibility of an effective compromise or an agreement to disagree.

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