Having children is a precious gift and a huge responsibility that can add greatly to the lives of a couple.  However, once children come into the equation, couples often lose momentum in their sexual relationship.  This loss of sexual momentum can oftentimes cause tension and eventually a wedge in the relationship, leading to communication breakdowns and disagreements that ensue all from displaced sexual energy that hasn’t had the opportunity to be released in a healthy way.

It’s especially easy for a couple with a newborn or young children to lose the spark in their sexual relationship, but it doesn’t have to be that way.  Life is about balance and as everything around us is balanced so must our relationships be.  If you are in this situation of needing to create a healthy balance between caring for children and tending to your sexual relationship, take a look at these tips on how to perfect the balancing act between the two.

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Carve out time for intimacy and erotic expression.

Schedules can become crazy when children come into the mix of a couple who is already tied down with work commitments, so it is important to actually carve out time during the week, or on the weekends, to spend time together intimately to experience erotic pleasures and grow a closer bond.  Scheduling sexual activity may not sound appealing for those who like to be in the moment of spontaneous sexual arousal, but this is an effective way for a busy couple with children to balance personal/family time and sexual bonding time.

Have a consistent babysitter on file.

After carving out the time to have sex, you will need to have someone on standby to watch the little ones so that you can be worry free while in the moment.  Contact a trusted family member or close friend a few days in advance from your date night rendezvous to make sure your babysitting services are secure.  This will also be a fun experience for your children, who will be thrilled to have new playmate for the night.  Always determine if the date night will be an overnight getaway or something that will run late into the early hours and notify your babysitter of your plans.

How To Have A Sex Life After Having Children  was originally published on

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