He still hasn’t proposed and you’re wondering why? Here’s what you should do:
1. Figure out if you’re looking for a proposal or just validation. Write down three reasons you want him to propose. If you find yourself thinking that a proposal will show that he really loves you, or you’re worried that if he doesn’t propose he might break up with you, you may not be ready to get married.
2. Wait as long as you can. Especially if you’re in your 20s. He could be waiting to get a better job, he could be saving for the ring or he could just be waiting until he’s a little older—none of this means he doesn’t want to marry you. And keep in mind that the longer you wait the stronger your relationship will be.
3. If want kids and you’re worried about your fertility, tell him. If you having kids is more important to you than your relationship, make sure he knows how you feel—but be careful about giving him an explicit ultimatum, which could come across as manipulative. For a softer approach, here are some things you can say. Before you do, make sure you’re in a setting where he can be receptive; it’s harder to have a successful conversation if one person is distracted.
4. Talk to a professional. If you’re having trouble sleeping, are feeling overly anxious, or worrying about the proposal and marriage is interfering with your life, you might want to talk to a life coach or a therapist. Many problems can be resolved in just a few sessions, and if you have a more serious condition a professional can help you identify it.
5. Can’t wait? Ask him yourself! Sure, it’s uncommon, but that certainly doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t do it.