The phrase “Let’s talk about money” may well be more provoking than “Let’s talk about sex.”
In 2013, The Huffington Post surveyed women on the biggest issues in their marriages, and guess what topped the list? Money. [1] Similarly, a Texas Tech University study showed that “financial disagreements were among the consistent top predictors of conflict tactics [such as] using heated arguments more frequently than calm discussion.” [2]
Even economically feminist women can find themselves grappling with their desire to be cared for by a monied suitor. Truth is, they can be genuinely confused about (and more than a little embarrassed by) their own feelings on the subject. [3]
What if we redefine the topic and look at it with fresh eyes.
Let’s say you’re single, you’re not living off a trust fund and you’re not currently being supported by, for example, your parents. So you are likely working. And let’s say you consider yourself agnostic when it comes to your partner’s financials—meaning that you’re not sizing up potential mates based on their wallet.
Now let’s say you meet someone. And the two of you really hit it off well. By whatever criteria you personally have. Sense of humor, good in bed, attentive, tidy, remembers your likes and dislikes, attractive, gets along with your cat or dog, whatever.
Unless by some stroke of luck your incomes are identical, one of you will be bringing home more than the other. So let’s say he or she makes more than you. A lot more. As the relationship develops, what do you do: switch over to living their lifestyle and their budget? Pull them over to living yours?
Now let’s switch it. Say they make significantly less than you. You might be an extremely generous type… but even if you aren’t, we can imagine increasing your personal assets to a point where it no longer matters. Remember, in every other regard the relationship is great. So I’m guessing there’s an income level you can conceive of at which you feel so abundant that sharing it with your beloved doesn’t even register as an issues. It’s an of-course.
So here’s the question. In this scenario, are you a Sugar Daddy / Sugar Mama? In the previous scenario, where you’re dating someone significantly wealthier, are you a Sugar Baby?
Maybe the answer should be yes.
Maybe it’s time we retire the old definition of Sugar Daddy, the one that elicits images of dirty old men, back-page girls and Playmates circa 1975. Let’s be honest, most women today do indeed care how much their partner makes. They care quite a bit. It shouldn’t be a taboo subject. Why are we still trying to pretend that affluence or success aren’t attractive qualities in a potential mate?
A recent study found that slut-shaming among women was driven more by socio-economic status than by actual sexual behavior. [4] We live in a society in which money has replaced sex as the hot, untouchable topic in relationships; a society without real language or venues to talk openly about the importance money plays in relationships.
via YourTango
