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I was waiting on death and I did nothing to prepare for a future. I didn’t save a dime. I lived for the moment. I couldn’t see past each gig. And after that third bout of PCP, I knew that my life was over.  But a funny thing happened on the way to death, I lived!

So here I am, looking menopause in the face. Well actually, Perimenopause. Let me explain. Menopause is actually the end of the road. It’s when a woman’s menstruation stops altogether. Her body stops making eggs and produces less estrogen and progesterone.

And the new fancy term for getting there is Perimenopause, it’s the time leading up to a woman’s last period. During this time a woman’s period can stop and start again until a year has passed since she has actually had a period. During this stage a woman has changes in her hormones made in the ovaries and this causes hot flashes, mood swings, weight gain, decreased sexual drive,  headache and memory loss, to name some in this long list of issues that effect women during this time. But honestly many people interchange these two terms, Menopause and Perimenopause.

Whatever you want to call it, that’s what I’m going through. My gynecologist who specializes in women and HIV is already on the job. I was not surprised to learn that hormone medications can change the levels of HIV medications because many HIV med’s are affected by simple things such as over the counter medication and alcohol. So now she is in the process of determining what I can take so that my HIV treatment is not hindered in anyway.

So here I am living! Living on the way to death. I say that because as sure as I’m living today, we will all die one day. The difference for me now, is that I’m thinking more about my future than I am about the end. The truth of it all, no one knows the hour or the day except God and trying to predict when AIDS is gonna take me out of here is trying to play God. The only thing I know for sure is that life is a precious gift! It says that you are still a part of God’s earthly plan. And each morning when I wake, no matter what I’m facing, I give that day everything I got; To do less than my best is a slap in life’s face.

By Rae Lewis-Thornton, BDO Contributing Writer

Rae Lewis-Thornton is an Emmy Award Winning AIDS Activist. She has been

featured in Essence, Ebony, Jet, O-The Oprah and Glamour magazines. As

well as, national television shows, such as The Oprah Winfrey Show,

Nightline, Dateline and BET. Rae has a Master of Divinity Degree and is

currently working on her PhD at the Lutheran School of Theology. For

more information, visit Rae at http://www.raelewisthornton.com.

Rae Lewis-Thornton: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Death!  was originally published on blackdoctor.org

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