I’m often asked by curious couples if masturbating while in a relationship is healthy, and I always say yes.  For some, the idea of practicing solo sex is seen as offensive or an admittance of not being pleasured properly, but masturbation shouldn’t be viewed in this way. By using the act in mutual practice and in solo settings, self-pleasuring can add to a sexual relationship in various ways.

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Mutual masturbation builds intimacy

Intimacy requires trust in order for each person within a relationship to place themselves within the essence of another’s energy. Using mutual masturbation during sexual foreplay is a great way for couples to engage with each other intimately without entering into physical intercourse.  It’s a very intimate activity to be a voyeur of while participating simultaneously. Confidence in each other’s sexual expression and enjoyment will help unify a couple sexually helping shame that often mystifies sex to be released. Locking eyes and maintaining this gaze on each other will help to build trust in each other and send signals of desire that can heighten the experience.

It’s great foreplay

Stroking the genitals in a rhythmic way can cause sensations that arouse sexual energy.  This process is necessary for the body to go from a resting state to a place of arousal where it is ready for sexual activity. Heart rate increases, blood rushes to the sex organs making them more sensitive to the touch and hormones are released that begin the process of lubrication for women and erection for men. Using masturbation as a form of foreplay can help each partner become comfortable with viewing the other sexually and lead to a heated moment of passion once bodies are joined together.

Is Masturbation Healthy In A Relationship?  was originally published on

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