It’s that time of year again where you see family members that you haven’t seen since last year, and you get to not only share love and holiday cheer, but also update everyone on all that is or better yet isn’t taking place in your life. I wasn’t aware of it until it happened, but there is apparently a rule that once you hit your mid 20’s marriage and babies is all anyone wants to know about.
It’s like you hit 25 and nobody is interested in your career goals anymore! It’s all about your love interest and is it heading anywhere! Well I for one am sick of it! I’ve gotten to a place where I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I can’t base my life on their timeline. That’s how poor decisions are made.
And since when is asking someone when they are going to get married or have kids not an invasion of privacy?! And if it isn’t enough for your friends and family to bombard you with these questions that you’d need a crystal ball to answer, there is absolutely nothing worse than a complete stranger doing it! BOUNDARIES people….it’s about boundaries! There are certain conversations that if you are NOT invited to have, you just don’t have them.
I am here to make a PSA for all those 25+ not married and child-free women out there who feel my pain. Putting someone on the spot about marriage and children is not only insulting, it’s uncomfortable! My parents remind me all the time that they want grandchildren and it’s as if they think if they keep saying it somehow I will turn into the next Virgin Mary and have a baby by the grace of GOD! Well this year I will not deal with the pressure and questions! These are my confessions:
1. I am not ready.
Simply put I am not ready. Just because I hit that age where everyone else is running down the aisle doesn’t mean that I am ready to or even want to. About a year ago I was practically engaged, and today I couldn’t even tell you where that person lives anymore. That right there is a scary thought. I am clearly not at a point where I am ready, or even prepared to make that type of life decision. Determining a husband should be taken very seriously and that type of pressure scares me. Until I feel comfortable that I know what I want, I can’t even fathom considering making that move. It’s hard enough for me to decide what I am going to eat for dinner, please let me just struggle with that for now.
2. My career is more important.
Let’s see. In the last five years I have lived in seven different cities, three different states and in two different time zones. I’ve pretty much become an expert at packing up and leaving in a heartbeat. I am at a point in my life where I am chasing my dreams and the love of my life is my career. I want to make something of myself and I need freedom in order to do that. Marriage and children require sacrifices and I am not ready to make my goals one of them. When opportunity calls I go for it with no questions asked, no one else to consider, nothing holding me back. It feels nice to know that I have that freedom.
Committed To ME: Why I’m Happy Loving Life & In No Rush For Marriage was originally published on blackdoctor.org