Licensed marriage and family therapist, Esther Boykins, offers another perspective for the men reading. Boykins has been working with couples for more than a decade. Her advice on intimacy will have your lady sending you those “middle of the day” texts.
BDO: How can men be more intimate with their ladies without sex?
EB: Look for non-sexual ways to be affectionate. Women, like men, want to feel desired for more than just their bodies. Stroke her face, hold her hand, give a foot massage, or whatever other touch feels good. Pay attention to her response to these touches, too. You’d be surprised how much pleasure you’ll also find in watching your partner enjoy your touch.
Try acts of service as a way to connect emotionally and express your love for her. Help around the house, cook a nice dinner, or take care of errands you know she doesn’t like. These gifts of time and energy say as much about your affection as anything you do in the bedroom.
Another great way to create intimacy without sex is to just have fun together. Quality time doing something you both enjoy is a great way to foster feelings of closeness and remind each other why you’re together. Being playful and carefree with your wife or girlfriend is part of your intimate connection. Let your guard down and be silly with her.
Thank you to our awesome contributors, Ms. Jessica Holter and Ms. Esther Boykins for their jewels of wisdom. Please check out the Punany Poets next time they’re in your town. Also, check out Esther Boykin’s book, The Date Deck. Hopefully our brothers reading this will take heed and give their ladies that other stroke of love she desperately yearns for.
Leave us a comment and let us know how you practice intimacy in your relationship.
Creator of The Punany Poets Schools Men On Intimacy (Take Notes!) was originally published on blackdoctor.org
