Love Analytix: 12 Buttons Women Should Never Push
This month marks the second “anniversary” of the Chris Brown/ Rihanna love match, one of the most highly publicized celebrity domestic violence cases this country has witnessed.
Without recapping the already over-exhausted details, the Chrihanna scandal, with all the court cases, exclusive interviews, snot-filled performances, and diss songs, the big question still remains – what really did happen in that car to make Chris Brown snap?
Still one of the most buzzed-about topics in entertainment, the answer will probably remain a mystery. All we can say is that in love and relationships, an individual gradually learns what pushes the other person’s buttons and, truth be told, women usually know how to push the buttons with even more expertise than men. This isn’t to imply anything Rihanna may have (or have not) done or said justifies how violently Brown reacted, but to be clear, women do need to watch how often and how relentless they are when it when it comes to pushing a man’s buttons. Any respectful, sound man would never lay their hands on a female, but let’s be real – almost all men, especially those in love, at one point may have thought about it.
Before you go into an uproar, understand that love is a powerful emotion that at times can cloud logic and judgment. And, when it comes to women, we not only know how to keep an argument going, but we purposely won’t let it end. Women are attentive and observant, and can be experts knowing just how and how long to push a man buttons.
And as funny as comedians like Chris Rock have made it sound, “If you never contemplated murder, you ain’t been in love,” Rock once said in his stand up “Never Scared,” a man seeing red is no laughing matter. It would benefit many relationships to understand how to communicate when anger is present. Women need to know when enough is enough, and when it’s time to regroup so that there’s no irreversible damage done to the relationship.
It doesn’t have to get there, if women in particular are made aware of the 12 buttons women that they should never-ever, ever, ever, push in a relationship – or even while ending one.
The Privacy Button
Don’t nudge and prod where it’s not any of your business. If a man wants to open up he will, but forcing it may just make him snap.
The Pregnancy Button
Run for cover if you tell a man you’re pregnant… and that it’s not his. Get ready to get him doubly mad to find out you lied about being pregnant as some diabolical plan to bring him closer or get money. Chile…
The STD Button
Ask yourself how you would react if Tyrone pulled you the side and said, “I’m sorry, but the doctor said I might have an STD, but you know I love you baby.” Yea, exactly…unclinch those fists.
The Mama Button
Your mom acts like bi..Whoa! Calling a man’s mother anything out her name, is a sure way to get a man’s nostrils flaring. As a matter fact, good rule of thumb for any man that’s close to his family, is to not add any family member in any of your arguments-period.
The _____Ass N***a Button
Diddy already let us know that “bitchassness” isn’t cool, but filling in the blank with b*tch, bum, or gay will have a strong man breathing and counting to ten.
The Vulnerable Button
He opened up to you about how he peed in the bed until he was 15 and you used that against him when he forgot to put the toliet seat down? Sooooo not cool.
The Hypocrite Button
You tell him how much he needs to change his life and stop going to bars and clubs, yet every weekend you’re out with your girls? Stop the games. A man hates being told what to do, so don’t add insult to injury by being a hypocrite.
The EX Button
Men have a very ego driven nature, hearing I wish you were as ________as my ex, will get their blood boiling just to know you still think about your ex.
The Cheating Button
Catching you in the act, sleeping with a close friend/family member, or having your man find out you cheated more than once are severe violations in a man’s eyes. Pushing this button is a cardinal sin, and don’t think because you ‘fessed up or said that you love him will keep him from practicing his albi.
The Inferior Button
Treating a man like a child, belittling, or always emasculating a man are sure fire ways to get him on TV – A&E’s “The First 48.”
The Penis Button
Women love to talk about how inadequate the size of a man’s member is once sh^t hits the fan. “Third leg? Please, that’s barely a third toe,” let’s not insult his manhood, especially if a makeup session is the relationships future.
Do you push a man’s buttons? Have you ever had your buttons pushed?
Shirea L. Carroll is a journalist who has written for Essence, VIBE, Washington Post’s TheRoot.com, XXL’s Juicy, and AOL. Reporting on everything from music and entertainment to celebrity and love, she has interviewed some of today’s biggest celebrity names. Find the NJ native on her blog Invite Only, or follow her on Twitter @InviteOnly to find out “who is and isn’t invited.”