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Is Meeting for Coffee on a First Date a Deal Breaker?

By Rosemary Brennan, Glamour magazine

One of my friends recently went out with a fellow she met through an online dating site. Based on their emails and phone conversations, my pal concluded that the guy was polite, successful and kind of funny. They agreed to go out on a date and she was not at all thrilled when he suggested they meet for coffee.

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At first, I didn’t see what the big deal was. I love coffee (and tea and hot chocolate!) so meeting a potential beau at Starbucks or the neighborhood café doesn’t seem like too bad of an idea.

However, my pal pointed out that coffee dates can usually be pretty quick—sometimes under thirty minutes. Going out for dinner takes quite a bit longer; the two of you can feel each other out much more while sharing a meal than if you’re sitting on couches at coffee shop. According to my friend, if a guy is only willing to meet you for coffee, he’s not worth your time. If he’s really interested in getting to know you (which is what first dates are all about!) he’ll be up for a date that lasts longer than it takes to drink a mocha.

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Despite her misgivings, she met the dude at Starbucks. She suspected there had been a bit of a spark and she wanted to check him out before totally writing him off. After sipping their drinks, they went their separate ways. They haven’t gone out since then.

What do you think of coffee on a first date? Is it a deal breaker? Or just a low key way to spend some time together?

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