10 Ways to Handle a Friend Flirting with Your Man Without Acting Crazy
It’s happened to most of us once or twice. We’re out with our dude, and the next thing we know, there’s some chick (usually a mutual friend) all flirting with him. The question is, what do we do about it? ESPECIALLY if we don’t want to look like total jerks. I mean, it’s just a little harmless flirting, right? How bad can it be?
Besides making you feel like crap, it’s a fairly uncomfortable situation to be in. You never know — she could be a frenemy in disguise. And he could be a jerk.
Here’s how to handle someone flirting with your guy while acting like a lady (read: without turning into a psychopath).
1) First things first — is there actually anything behind the flirting? Is the other chick actually interested in your guy or is that just the way she behaves toward everyone?
2) Take a hard step back and examine the situation entirely before doing anything at all. This may be a situation in which you have to do nothing — it will simply play out, make for an awkward few hours, and then be over.
3) See how your partner reacts to the flirting. Watch carefully. Is he responding? Is he acting all awkward about it? Is he trying to deflect it? Or is he enjoying it?
4) Flirt with your guy as well. Don’t do it in a desperate, “pay attention to me” kind of way, but make sure it’s clear that you’re digging him too. Sometimes, a little flirting can go a long way toward getting the “back off my man” message across — without resorting to behaving like a brat.
5) Later, talk to him about it using “I feel” statements. Stick to the facts at hand rather than going off on a tangent, and allow him to respond instead of immediately jumping down his throat.
6) Be wary of trying to “get him back” by flirting with someone else in his presence. It cheapens you and looks desperate — just avoid doing it, no matter how tempting.
7) Talk to her about it if she’s a friend of yours. Don’t be all “GET OVER HERE NOW,” or anything, but try a simple, “hey, I don’t know if you mean to (because you don’t know), but you’re hitting on my guy and it’s not cool.” Be careful and remain calm — the last thing you want to do is look nuts.
8) Speak up — if it’s just the three of you out, go ahead and be honest and firm. Say, “You guys are making me uncomfortable,” and see how they react to it. Chances are they don’t realize they’re flirting and upsetting you.
9) Trust your partner. Think good thoughts — and remember, flirting does not instantly mean infidelity. If he’s going home with you tonight, then he’s yours.
10) Don’t start an argument in front of them about it — it’s not worth it. If your gut tells you something is off, deal with it later, not by making a scene and storming off.