It wasn’t the last time that a quick judgment would change Howard’s life. Although acting has been a passion since he was young, science was Howard’s second love, and he studied for a master’s in chemical engineering at Pratt Institute, in New York City. His plans changed dramatically when his college girlfriend, Lori, became pregnant, and he dropped out of school to support their new family.
WATCH: Empire’s TV Show Gives Lessons In Sexuality
By age 24, he was a married man, and soon he was a dad three times. Trying to fill the emptiness of a marriage that was forged more out of duty than devotion, he says, he buried himself in encounters with other women, in booze, and more. “I created a false person,” he says. “You feel either superhuman or subhuman—either perfect or completely evil and raunchy. Finally, that person that really is you is snuffed out, and you get into a vicious cycle—be it drinking or drugs or sex.”
His father was supportive but also a taskmaster. “I remember him getting up at 5 o’clock in the morning, doing everything that he possibly could to make a dollar, and coming back home at 11 o’clock at night. He didn’t let you go to sleep without finishing your work. I remember washing the walls at 2:45 a.m. on a school night. He would wake us up if we hadn’t finished our chores, and we got whupped for it.”
Yes, whupped. Howard freely admits that he, too, takes a firm hand with his own children, two girls and a middle boy, ages 8, 10, and 12. “You have been told you can’t discipline your kids no more,” he declares. “When I grew up, there was a paddle in every classroom.”
Despite his thoughts on spakings or whoopings, Howard says the most important lesson his parents taught him wasn’t discipline but self-respect. When he was 6 years old, he says, “my daddy put me in front of the mirror and said, ‘You see that little guy coming at you right there? You gotta love him, because no matter what, he’s the only person who is going to be there with you for the rest of your life. Your wife might leave you, your kids can grow up and not talk to you, and your friends can take the things that you love. But that little cat right there is going to be with you every step of the way. Don’t let him down, and he’ll never let you down.’ My favorite thing in the world is my own reflection, because there I gain my strength. You can’t lie to that.”
“When people ask me, ‘Don’t you think you might be burning your candle at both ends?’” says Howard. “I say, ‘Well, it’s okay. I know how to make candles.’”
As he builds his Empire each week on Fox’s hit show, he also builds his empire each day within.
For more on your favorite celebrity, click here.
Terrence Howard: Building An Empire From The Inside was originally published on blackdoctor.org
