Sex Ed
You studied the male and female anatomy in grade school. Now, it’s time to educate yourself on how to use that knowledge to your sexual advantage. No matter how good you think you are in bed, there’s always room for education.
Learn from the real pros, not the actors or porn stars. Visit a certified intimacy coach or read an article or book written by one. Intimacy coaches are a great resource for couples who are looking to spice things up or for long-term couples who have lost faith in their ability to be sexually compatible.
READ: This Is Your Brain On Porn: 3 Things You Should Know
“Taking a class can be very beneficial for some people. Sexual education is like professional development. We take practice professional development in our careers. We go to college to further ourselves so that we can have a better career. Think of sex education as the same thing. Learn more about your partner. Learn more about yourself. It helps to increase the intimacy and sexual pleasure,” Dr. Griffin said.
Big… Ego?
Many people find it difficult to be honest with their partner if they aren’t being pleased sexually. But, what they often fail to realize is being sexually dissatisfied eventually plays out in the relationship, no matter how hard they try to hide it with moans. They also fail to realize that ‘faking it’ sends the wrong message by allowing their partner to believe that they’re doing everything right. Getting upset with someone for pleasing you the way you taught them to do so is just, well… backwards. Ultimately, it’s up to us to teach our partners how to please us.
Dr. Griffith shares explains that “The majority of people don’t know how to communicate sexually because that’s just a skill we haven’t been taught. We don’t want to bruise our partners ego. [But] if we fake it, we’re teaching our partner that they’re pleasing us when in all actuality they may not be.”
“The best thing to do if you want to please your partner is to ask them what turns them on. Ask them what pleases them. Often times, we think we’re doing this great job in the bedroom when we’re not. And we both end up leaving unsatisfied and pissed off and just resentful because ‘he’s not pleasing me’. But, at the same time, I’m not speaking up. So you have this dichotomy where [one partner] thinks [they’re] doing something and I’m feeling frustrated and it’s coming out in other aspects of our relationship and no one knows why we’re pissed off when all we had to do was speak up,” said Dr. Griffin.
The Climax
When determining what a woman’s moan means, education, communication and guidance are key. Invest the time and energy into learning her as you would anything else that peaks your interest.
Learn her sexual response cycle. The easiest way to learn how to please a woman is by asking her about what she enjoys and dislikes. Again, communication is key when it comes to sexual pleasure as there are a lot of physical and emotional barriers that can keep her from enjoying sex.
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Pleasure Or Pain: What Does Her Moan Mean? was originally published on blackdoctor.org
