Are you living a high tech lifestyle? Are you plugged into the internet 24/7? Do you update your Facebook status several times a day? Must you tweet your every move? Has your BlackBerry become an extension of your arm? Do you blame work every time you take a hit of tech speed? With the lack of boundaries placed upon our relationships with our gadgets, it seems that our relationships with real people are suffering. Fifty percent percent of first marriages, 67percent of second and 74 percent of third marriages end in divorce. In a country that prides itself on the principles of family values, these are ominous statistics.
In an era in which we are all so plugged in, why are we disconnecting from those we are supposed to be closest to?Technology is supposed to make our lives easier, but when we plug into tech, we unplug from those around us. How many times have you asked a loved one a question while they’re on the computer, and after waiting 10-15 seconds received a “What did you say?” How many dinners or lunches have you sat through and had more conversation with the person you’re texting than the one sitting in front of you? How many hours have you tuned out watching mindless TV in order to escape from the stresses of daily life? How many blisters and calluses have you accrued on your hands from hours of gaming? As a nation we have become complacent in our relationships, and it is this lack of bonding time and connection that leads to broken relationships.
It’s time to do a test to see just how disconnected you are from the people closest to you. Add up all the time you spend on the phone (texting and talking), on the computer (working and playing) and in front of the TV (watching and gaming), over the course of three days. Now compare that to how much time you spend with your significant other (not including sleep hours) over the course of those three days. For most of you this will be a sobering realization of how little time, work and effort you put into maintaining a healthy and loving relationship.
It’s time to set boundaries and re-evaluate your love values. When was the last time you had a date night and focused solely on your partner? When was the last time you made love? How long has it been since you had a conversation that didn’t focus on work, the kids and your schedule? If you value your relationship, and want to spend your life with someone special, then turn off the tech. No more laptops, cell phones, TV’s, Wii’s, Play Stations, or any other gadgets or doodads in the bedroom. Turn your love nest into a no-tech zone, and focus on reconnecting with sensuality, intimacy and sexuality. If you want to keep the flame burning bright in your relationship, then the only surfing you should be doing is body surfing.
Rebecca Brody is a Relationship Coach in NYC. For love advice go to http://www.TheLuvCoach.com, or follow her on twitter @LuvCoach. Are you searching for the love of your life? Join Coach Brody for Improv Speed Dating- ImprovDates.com.
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