‘Black Marriage Negotiations’ Viral Videos Hit a Nerve
By Lucette Jefferson on Oct 18th 2010 1:00PM
Filed under: Dating, Relationships, Marriage, Video
From The Grio: Last week, a YouTube video called ‘Black Marriage Negotiations’ spread like a forest fire among the African American middle-class set. With posts on Facebook, Essence.com and many points in between, the three-minute-plus animated video, in which a professional black woman dictates what she requires in a mate to a professional black man, has elicited strong reactions.
In response to the poll that the site blackandmarriedwithkids.com conducted asking whether the video was both funny and sad, just sad or just funny, Jbngrace wrote: “I refuse to vote because I don’t think it’s funny and the only sad thing about it is that it’s getting real old hearing this stereotype of black women perpetuated when I know plenty of black women who neither think nor behave like this.”
Indeed the animated female has become an all-too-familiar stereotype, especially in the last two years. Earlier this year, ABC News ran a special report on the single black female. Her plight, as noted by the popular black gossip site Bossip, even attracted the attention of Russian TV. And, of course, she’s been the subject of numerous newspaper, magazine and Internet articles. But what exactly is the problem?
“I can’t find any good black men,” the highly educated black female says to a potential mate in the video, who asks, “What are you looking for?” As she rattles off a checklist that includes a six-figure income, integrity, good character, good credit and loves his mom, requirements he actually meets, she later details many restrictions including little to no sex.
As she reiterates her demands, he notes the irony of it all, “Wow that’s confusing. Career-minded, strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man, but you expect to have your way through life paid for by your man.” Yet, when he finally submits to her unrealistic wish list, she tells him, “You’re too weak. I need a man with a backbone who won’t let me run all over him. Besides you’re not 6’5, and that’s a deal breaker.”
Another video, ‘Black Marriage Negotiations (Woman’s Perspective),’ detailing the black man’s desire to have a wife who works but doesn’t make more money than him, cooks every day, primarily raises the kids and keeps a “flat” stomach, hasn’t proven nearly as popular. In fact, yet another video ‘Black Marriage Negotiations Pt. II,’ which shows a white coworker making moves on the potential black mate, has gotten far more play on YouTube.
