Relationship Expert Tionna Smalls from ‘What Chilli Wants’ Gives You Advice

What’s your fondest mother’s day memory? It was [son] Tron and my nieces and nephews and they all cooked and set up the house like it was a restaurant. And me, my mom and my sister, we all got served. It was amazing. They made these handmade cards to express their feelings about us and I cried. It was good.

Chilli on Motherhood, Beauty and Hair

What’s your fondest mother’s day memory? It was [son] Tron and my nieces and nephews and they all cooked and set up the house like it was a restaurant. And me, my mom and my sister, we all got served. It was amazing. They made these handmade cards to express their feelings about us and I cried. It was good. Chilli on Motherhood, Beauty and Hair What advice would you give your daughter on motherhood? I wouldn’t give my daughter advice I wouldn’t give my son. To me, your kids are your kids, and you should instill in them everything you know so that they are responsible, independent adults. And I always tell my son not to depend on a woman for anything. Just like we tell our daughters that. He will be equipped to take care of himself. I don’t think that we should raise our kids to depend on others. Chilli on Motherhood, Beauty and Hair What are the biggest issues facing our children today? Just stuff on the Internet and just a lot of television shows. To me, it’s not their fault; it’s because parents are not parenting anymore. You don’t have grandmamas stepping up and giving good advice anymore. People are not cooking, everybody’s eating out. But certain things should just stay traditional, like family. There are just certain channels we’re not watching. We don’t do that. So I’m not planting those seeds in his head prematurely. It falls back on the parents. They need to get a hold of things and cut out all the television and the computer. I’m like, give me a break. They need to be outside playing. Chilli on Motherhood, Beauty and Hair What are some rules you have for dating as a single parent? Well, to me, when you’re dating, especially depending on how old your kids are, I wouldn’t recommend bringing the dates, or introducing the dates to your kids as a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I don’t think you should introduce that type of relationship to your child until you know for sure that’s the person you want to be with. Chilli on Motherhood, Beauty and Hair What are three things every mother must have for successful work/life balance? The one thing about being a mommy that I found out is that you never have enough time in the day. And I understand the balance of mom and dad in a household. Unfortunately, when you don’t have that balance, you can still get it from other places – my mother helps out a lot, my son’s father is an active father. I have help, but at the same time, as a parent, you have to accept that there are a lot of sacrifices you have to make. There are things that you may not be able to do for yourself so that you can spend more time with your children. I think the most important thing is to learn how to use your time sparingly. [On weekends], that’s when you should prepare your dinners for the week. Because the week is crazy, you’re working, you have to check homework, you have to conversate with your kids and spend your time with them, so whatever you can eliminate on the weekends, I say do. Chilli on Motherhood, Beauty and Hair Your favorite article of clothing this season? You know, my most favorite things to buy of all are sandals and flip-flops, but my taste is very expensive. I love Giuseppe Zanotti. His shoes are like jewelry for your feet. If you see something this year, you won’t see it next year. Very beautifully done and very pricey, but I have to have my Guiseppes! I get a pedicure once a week. I don’t wait two weeks. And I’m ghetto with it. I get the blinged-out clear diamonds or some time of cute designs, even in the winter. Plain polish is boring to me. Chilli on Motherhood, Beauty and Hair What handbag is it for you this season? I carry my own bag line with my son on it. I would feel totally guilty carrying another bag that didn’t have his picture. As a matter of fact, he’d be confused, like “Mommy, where’s my photo?” Chilli on Motherhood, Beauty and Hair Who is your fashion icon? Let me think now. I like…wow. Whose style do I like like that? I don’t know. I’m serious. Some people have cute days and not so cute. I would have to say lately, Gwyneth Paltrow. Her style has just been so nice. I’m funny because I’m not a girly-girly. So I don’t like…I like dresses but it depends on the dress. To me, her style, it’s got that funky thing to it. It’s still very feminine, but everything about it is funky even down to her cute little haircut. She’s just fly. Chilli on Motherhood, Beauty and Hair Would you ever consider doing a short haircut? Absolutely not. Never, ever, would I do that. If you see me walking around with a short haircut, you know I’ve lost my mind. She’s ill. She’s on some kind of medication or something. I would put a wig on and play like that, but I would NEVER cut my hair. As a matter of fact, I’m letting it grow. Chilli on Motherhood, Beauty and Hair How do you switch it up — do you blow it out? Yeah. And somebody had said something about me, something about straight hair. There was a period of time when that’s all I wore. In our culture, we’re always with all these different hairstyles and, to me, I’m just not into all that. I’m not a fan of straight styles any more because I don’t want the heat on my hair. I’m into being more healthy. I love roller sets in the winter. I don’t do them in the summer because my hair sweats and gets curly. I don’t do any chemical besides color. My hair has been colored for eight years now. I stay in the same family — browns, light browns and reds and that auburn color. Chilli on Motherhood, Beauty and Hair