Diddy Sued for $1 Trillion

By Jam Donaldson on Jan 31st 2011 1:45PM

Straight from the Crazy Cat Lady File is the story that has captured the nation’s attention. It’s the story of one nutty lady battling one powerful man in show business, and her quest for justice. No, not Mary Harvey, but Valerie Joyce Wilson Turks.

Who is that, you may ask? And why does she have four names?

Well, Turks is a 31-year-old woman who has recently filed a lawsuit in Los Angeles Superior Court against Diddy for … (wait for it) … one trillion dollars! That’s a lot!

In her lawsuit, Turks accuses Diddy, his baby-mama Kim Porter and beat-down icon Rodney King, of … well, everything: She claims Diddy assaulted her son, caused the 9/11 World Trade Center bombing and swindled her out of “zillions of dollars.”

According to court papers seen by, Turks is asking for $900 billion in child support and $100 billion in lost income.

One hundred billion in lost income? She must have invented the Internet!

In papers she has submitted to the court, Turks wrote:

“[Diddy] went through Kim Porter and Rodney King and knocked down the World Trade Center and then they all came and knocked my children down. Set me up to be on disability and disabled my baby. He put my baby in a wheelchair.”

She states that she was abused by Diddy from 2001 through 2010 adding that, “He date raped me 24 years ago and knocked me down, him and Kim Porter and Wallace Wright, then Sean Combs and Kim and Wallace Wright came back 18 years later and raped and sexually abused my children and knocked my children down and crushed me and my children daily.”

She also claims that Diddy ripped her off, because he needs the money!

She says:

“I won a lot of money at the casino in Mississippi and Sean P. Diddy Combs has my chip to my money. I want my chip, please help me. It’s well worth over 100 zillions of dollars.”

One-hundred zillions? That’s also a lot!

Turks says that she dated Diddy, and that the two have a son together, Cornelius Wilson, 23 years old.

Now perhaps my math is wrong, but if she has a 23-year-old son and she’s 31 … oh, just forget it.

She also asked for a temporary restraining order, which the judge denied.

Although the case will likely be laughed out of court, the judge has set a court date of January 31st for the case to be heard.

Just for comedy.

Valerie Joyce Wilson Turks is either seriously mentally ill or she is prepping for a new reality show.

Either way, let’s hope justice prevails, Valerie gets the help he needs, and Diddy does not sign her to Bad Boy.