Love Analytix: The 12 Craziest Types of Women

By Shirea L. Carroll on Mar 3rd 2011 5:00PM

Filed under: Love Analytix

Ask a man to describe a woman, and often they’lll use some word synonymous with crazy. A lot of men tend to think of women as emotionally unstable creatures, extremely temperamental, overly dramatic, irrational, and more. But the worst is when a man says that a woman “has issues.”

While that may be true from time to time, all women aren’t moments away from being put in a straitjacket. In fact, many actions perceived as “emotional” or “crazy” are actually warranted and justified responses to a man’s asinine actions.

For example, just because a women didn’t give you her number when you tried to holler at her on the street doesn’t mean she hates men. Women aren’t deranged stalkers just because they ask the man they’re dating why he’s been MIA for five days. The woman that’s the mother of your child isn’t an insane baby mama just because it took child support for you to finally take care of your kid.

Women are socialized to handle emotions differently than men. For example, women are shown as little girls that crying is okay. However, when little boys cry, they are taught to “man up,” making it hard for them as adults to decipher between a crazy woman and one who is simply going through it.

On the other hand, there are, in fact, women who hold on to emotional baggage until it festers into real deal issues. These women give emotionally stable women everywhere a bad rep. Here, we analyze 12 types of crazy women and teach you the difference between what’s sane and what’s a major red flag.

12. The “Why Didn’t You Call Me Back?!” Woman

Men act like they hate being on the phone, but she:

Isn’t Crazy if she’s reached out to you more than more than once after not speaking to you in 48-hour period.

She Has Issues if she texts you 11 times and calls 14 times – all in 30 minutes time span – after you told her you’re walking into church.

11. The GPS Woman

Men say they feel like a child when a woman keep tabs on them, but she:

Isn’t Crazy if she wants to know what you have planned for the weekend.

She Has Issues if she found out how long it should take you to get from point A to B, mileage on your car, or needs to know the EXACT store you are in at the mall.

10. The Love Atheist

Men love the gentle, loving side of woman, but she:

Isn’t Crazy if she says she’s taking love slow because of what she’s been through.

She Has Issues if she says that after what she’s been through, love is evil and she will never ever have any parts of it.

9. The “All Men Are Alike” Woman

As much they are guilty of doing it, men hate to be stereotyped. She:

Isn’t Crazy if she says things like, “You’re so predictable.”

She Has Issues if she frequently says things like, “All men are dogs,” “You’re just like the rest of them,” or “I hate all men.” Scary.

8. The Cry Baby

Men don’t respond well to tears, but she:

Isn’t Crazy if she cries when you miss your anniversary.

She Has Issues if she turns on the waterworks because she wants apple juice and not orange juice. Ummm…

7. The Ultra-Independent Woman

Guys often feel intimidated by an independent woman, but she:

Isn’t Crazy if she often reminds a man that she likes to stand on her own two feet and be able to do for herself.

She Has Issues if she’s always saying she “doesn’t need a man for sh*t.”

6. The Bi-Curious Woman

Believe it or not, some men aren’t aroused by girls who like girls, but she:

Isn’t Crazy if she ever thought about being with another woman.

She Has Issues if she goes back and forth between men and women every time a man hurts her.

5. The Laundry List Woman

Men watch VH1’s ‘What Chilli Wants’ and roll their eyes with how picky Chilli is, but she:

Isn’t Crazy if she has her own list of things that she’s looking for and you don’t fit it.

She Has Issues if the list has been revised and reevaluated multiple times in the last 10 years.

4. The Everything’s-A-Big-Deal Woman

Some women do make a mountain our of a molehill, but she:

Isn’t Crazy if she screams at you for constantly not putting the toilet seat down.

She Has Issues if she thinks that, because you were 5 minutes late, you were out cheating – and doesn’t talk to you for a week.

3. The Fiend

Needy women quickly turn a man off, but she:

Isn’t Crazy if she asks, “When am I going to see you again?”

She Has Issues if she makes up some cockamamie scheme to force you two to see each other, or hates when you hang out with anyone but her.

2. The Lone Ranger

Men get fearful of the woman who has been single for too long, but she:

Isn’t Crazy if she’s working on personal goals and levels of success while single.

She Has Issues if she has 36 cats and shrine of her ex.

1. The Victim

A woman playing the victim can be annoying to men, but she:

Isn’t Crazy if she express exactly how and what she’s learned from her love failures.

She Has Issues if she starts of sentences with, “I used to be so ____,” and has let her past experience destroy her self confidence, self-esteem, and self worth.

Men need to realize that they are not beyond reproach; we all struggle at times from life’s obstacles, but it’s tiresome for a woman who has her mind and heart right to have to fight against the crazy stereotype when all women aren’t jaded. Know what you’re dealing with before you start labeling.

Are you or do you know a woman with issues? How do you deal?

Shirea L. Carroll is a journalist who has written for Essence, VIBE, Washington Post’s, XXL’s Juicy, and AOL. Reporting on everything from music and entertainment to celebrity and love, she has interviewed some of today’s biggest celebrity names. Find the NJ native on her blog Invite Only, or follow her on Twitter @InviteOnly to find out “who is and isn’t invited.”