Chris Brown: Losing
By Rebecca Brody on Mar 23rd 2011 11:40AM
Filed under: Luv Coach
It seems as though Chris Brown insists on challenging Charlie Sheen for the ‘bad boy’ award of 2011, although his antics portray a guy who is, nonetheless, losing it.
Appearing on ‘Good Morning America’ Tuesday morning for an interview with co-anchor Robin Roberts to promote his new album, F.A.M.E, Brown went into a rage after his first performance. Trashing his dressing room and smashing a window with a chair, he tore off his shirt, threatened a GMA producer and stormed out of ABC Studios without completing a second scheduled performance.
Having lost his good-guy image after he beat his ex-girlfriend Rihanna in 2009, Brown now seems intent on showing the world just how bad he can be. With bleached hair, a slew of tattoos and the quintessential jean jacket with the sleeves torn off, his image screams more teenage rebellious angst than true ‘bad boy,’ and throwing a tantrum is a surefire way to let mommy Robin know “I’m mad!”
Is this just a case of “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore” or are we seeing the pattern of a young man who never learned how to communicate, instead reverting to anger and violence?
Brown was witness to domestic violence as a child, and spoke out about his harrowing experience living with an abusive father. Although unfortunate, it doesn’t mean his behavior as an adult is excusable. Many people struggle with anger, especially in relationships, and without the proper tools to communicate, one is unable to channel or release the anger, and they end up catching the crazy over and over again.
I’m currently working with a client whose anger issues are driving a wedge into his relationship. He has been using anger as a shield to block anything that makes him uncomfortable in life, and as a weapon to get his way. The misuse of this emotion has not only created a wall to protect himself from those he perceives to be his enemies, but has alienated and hurt those who seek to love him. This has left him depressed, lonely and unable to open himself up completely to let love in.
On the other side of the coin, dating men who have bad tempers is a recipe for disaster. Anger and violence are commonly used in relationships to control and exert power over a partner. These are some of the most dangerous relationships, because no matter what you do to avoid or tiptoe around the angry partner, they will find any excuse as a reason to abuse and dominate, justifying their actions by blaming the victim.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a “yeller,” or someone who uses physical dominance to intimidate others, find the nearest exit and bolt.
Emotions are tools to help you deal with life, but if you mismanage or abuse them, you alienate yourself from others. Anger can be debilitating if you don’t get it under control, and it will destroy your relationships, your career and the things you value in life. You not only need to be aware of your anger, but you also need to own up to how you use it and assess how it truly affects those around you.
As for Chris Brown, it seems he needs a few more rounds in anger management, since he still hasn’t learned the number-one lesson in childhood: Actions have consequences. Think before you act!
Rebecca Brody is a relationship coach and columnist in NYC. She hosts improvdates.com and works with private clients. Send your questions to Brody@TheLuvCoach.com or visit her at theluvcoach.com.