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The conversation about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s disintegrating marriage is a little deeper than the fact that he was “cheating down” and that he kept it a secret for so long. This is about the psychology of affairs and why married men have unprotected sex with their lovers. Notice I call them lovers and not mistresses.

Barbershops all over America are ripe with sayings like “now why would he raw that” or “damn, he gon just mess up that Kennedy money” but no one will be surprised that a married man is cheating or that he was having unprotected sex.

Hair salons are filled with conversations just like the Barbershop but sisters want to know a. why was he cheating with the help? And b. why was he having unprotected sex with a woman other than his wife, exposing her to STD’s? What these ladies are assuming is that The Governator and his wife were in fact having sex. Their marriage is probably very similar to the Clintons, a marriage of convenience and opportunity, more of a business deal at this point than some love fest.

Arnold’s true love was probably his mistress; this is true for many men who are in love-less relationships. A man who had been married for 20 years told me “I love my wife but I’m in love with my mistress.” They have sex with their wives but they make love to their mistresses. And as I learned from the high school kids (which is even more problematic), unprotected sex is the new way to say I love you. There’s a twisted sort of trust between people in an affair. The man takes ownership (feminists please don’t kill the messenger) of his new lover and treats her like she is the “one”. Yeah he’s married and all but that’s not love, she doesn’t make him feel the way his mistress makes him feel so he treats the mistress like he would his wife; gifts, vacations and unprotected sex.

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